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| Posted by Spanky C. Sneed on 09-Aug-2005 | Dirty SantaA young girl sat on Santa's knee. He said, "What would you like for Christmas, little girl?"
"Some hairs on my pee-pee place," she replied.
"Do you mind if they're white ones?" asked Santa....
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| Posted by 2COOL on 09-Aug-2005 | Shame & GloryA woman walks into a bar and orders two shots. She downs the first one, "This is for the shame," and then the second one," This is for the glory."
She then orders two more shots. She drinks the first one, "This is for the shame," and then the second one, "This is for the glory."
She is about to order two more shots when the bartender stops her, "Ma'am, I was just wondering...what's this about shame and glory?"
"Well," she replies, "I like to do my housework naked. But when I bent over to pick something up, my great dane mounted me from behind."
"That must be the shame," the bartender said.
"No, that was the glory. The shame is when we got locked up and he dragged me around the front yard for thirty minutes."
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| Posted by Jennifer Wallace on 09-Aug-2005 | Taking A PissTwo women are hiking in the woods. After an hour or so, they come to a stream.
Unable to cross, they decide to walk along the stream and look for a narrower place.
Fortunately they come to a place where they can cross and proceed.
Halfway across, one woman stops and says to the other, "I've always wanted to be like the guys, and urinate in a stream."
The other woman looks around and says, "well, I don't see anyone around, now's your chance!"
The first woman drops her hiking shorts and squats.
As she begins to urinate, she looks down. "Holly shit!" she exclaims, "I just pissed on a man in a canoe!"
Alarmed, the second woman hurries over, and peeks at the stream. "Calm down," she says. "That wasn't a canoe you pissed in, it was only your reflection."
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| Posted by Roxie R. Bass on 09-Aug-2005 | Constant ErectionA guy walked into the doctor's office wanting a an appointment for some surgery.
"Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty receptionist asked. "I'll need the information for the doctor."
"It's rather embarrassing," the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection."
"Well, the doctor is very busy today," the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."
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| Posted by sorin s. dohanes on 09-Aug-2005 | Annual Check-upA guy goes for his annual check-up, and about a week later his doctor calls him in to give him the results.
"Well," says the doc, "You're in pretty good health, however I do have some good news and bad news for you."
"Give me the GOOD news first." requests the guy.
"You're penis is three inches longer than it was on your last physical."
"That's GREAT!" exclaims the guy, "but what's the BAD news?"
The doctor replies, "It's malignant!"
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| Posted by Amanda Hugandkiss on 09-Aug-2005 | SmileWhat not to say to your wife.
Smile for me, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
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