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():sex jokes (1888): Dirty Tattoo...


Posted by Baby G on 13-Aug-2005

Dirty Tattoo...

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor, and asks for a turkey on her right inner thigh and a Christmas Tree on my left inner thigh.

The tattoo guy looks at her and says, "If you don't mind me asking, why do you want those tattoos in those spots?"

The woman looks at him and replies, "My husband is always complaining he has nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"


   

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():sex jokes (1888): The Sheik's Punishment


Posted by Holly M. Whitermore on 13-Aug-2005

The Sheik's Punishment

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man.

"Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man.

"Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"

And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!


   

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():sex jokes (1888): Dog named Mypenis


Posted by Lucy Zhang on 13-Aug-2005

Dog named Mypenis

Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog's name was 'Mypenis'?

Mypenis ate my homework.

Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.

I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.

I love giving Mypenis a bath.

Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds.

Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.

I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.

Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?

Help! I can't find Mypenis!

Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.

Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.

Oh. no! Something bit Mypenis!

Watch it or you'll step on Mypenis.

When Mypenis behaves well, he gets a bone.

Sorry I'm late, but Mypenis kept me up howling all night...


   

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():sex jokes (1888): Lettering in making out


Posted by WhaWhitney on 13-Aug-2005

Lettering in making out

A girl goes to the doctor and takes off her shirt to be examined. On her chest she has a huge red "H."

The doctor asks, "How did you get that red 'H' on your chest?"

She replies, "My boyfriend goes to Harvard and he's so proud of his school that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we're making love."

So the next day the doctor has to examine another girl and she takes off her shirt and has a huge blue "Y" on her chest. The doctor asks, "How did you get that blue 'Y' on your chest?"

The girl replies, "My boyfriend goes to Yale and he's so proud of his school that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we're making love."

The next day the doctor has to examine another girl and she takes off her shirt and she has a huge green "M" on her chest. The doctor asks, "Do you have a boyfriend who goes to Michigan?" and the girl replies,

"No, but I have a girlfriend who goes to Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"


   

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():sex jokes (1888): Penance for bestiality


Posted by ~*~JoNaThAnLuVa88~*~ on 13-Aug-2005
Penance for bestiality
An Irish man walks into a church and goes to confess his sins

Bloke "father father i fucked a cat"

Father "a terrible sin this weeks penance is 20 whips around the back"

That night the vicar was thinking how he did it and thought he will give it a go so he picked up his cat turned him round and was just about to start when the cat turned and clawed his bollocks blood was coming out everywhere

Next week the same bloke came in bloke " father father i fucked a cat again"

Father " how did you do it" bloke " i put the cat in a box wrap cotton wool around him and cut a hole at the bottom of the box then i am ready"

The father turned round and said" your penance this week is to fuck the cat without the box"


   

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():sex jokes (1888): Rocket Limerick


Posted by Matt Lackey on 13-Aug-2005
Rocket Limerick
There was a man from hocket
who got blasted up in a rocket
the force of the blast blew his balls up his arse
and they found his cock in his pocket


   

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