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| Posted by Breanne M. Riley on 09-Aug-2005 | DivingA deep-sea diver is diving when he sees another guy with no scuba gear.
He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment follows him down, with the weirdest swimming style hes ever seen
He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, "You asshole, I'm drowning."
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| Posted by PattiebOy on 09-Aug-2005 | Bad news"I've got some good news and some bad news" the doctor says.
"What's the bad news?" asks the patient.
"The bad news is that unfortunately you've only got 3 months to live".
The patient is taken back, "What's the good news then Doctor?".
The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, "You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?", the patient nods his head and the doctor replies, "I'm fucking her."
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| Posted by Blake A. Mcarthur on 09-Aug-2005 | NaaaaaaaaahA man from the Internal Revenue Service knocks on a door and it is opened by a little boy.
The man asks the boy, "Where is your mother?"
The boy states, "She's in the backyard, screwing the goat."
The man exclaims, "Son, it's not nice to make up stories like that!"
The boy says, "Come on in and I'll show you."
So the taxman follows the little boy to the back of the house and looks out the window into the backyard.
There, he sees a woman screwing a goat. Disgusted, he turns to the boy and says, "That is gross! Doesn't that bother you?"
The little boy answers, "Naaaaaaaaah!"
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| Posted by Jim Keller on 09-Aug-2005 | BlowjobA teenager is walking downtown and a girl whispers to him, "Blowjob, five dollars".
He gives her a strange look and keeps walking.
Soon another girl does the same thing. Confused, he keeps walking.
The first thing out of his mouth when he returned home was "Mom, what's a blowjob?".
His mom replies "Five dollars, just like downtown!".
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| Posted by Briana L. Blahnik on 09-Aug-2005 | Blow chunksA man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz.
The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it?
The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks.
The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks".
You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.
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| Posted by Dilly on 09-Aug-2005 | Shut up pigThere is a lady laying in bed.
At about midnight her drunk husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says, "Thats the fat pig I've been sleeping with when I'm not sleeping with you."
His wife gets a confused look on her face and states, "but honey thats not a pig its a sheep."
Her husband says, "Shut up pig, I'm talking to the sheep!"
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