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| Posted by Tia Rusin on 09-Aug-2005 | Divorced MenQ. How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. "Who cares" its not his house any more.
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| Posted by Cory Krumlauf on 09-Aug-2005 | Impossible WishA man walking along a beach stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it, and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Okay...you released me from the lamp... blah, blah, blah. You get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm afraid to fly as I get a sick feeling within. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Also, think of how much concrete would be needed...how much steel!! No, you must think of another wish."
The man said, "Okay," and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care about them and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish I could understand women, know how they feel inside, what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing,' know how to make them truly happy..."
The genie looks at the man and asks, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"
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| Posted by dove on 09-Aug-2005 | What Men PreferWhy do men prefer women with big tits and tight pussies?
Because most men have big mouths and little dicks.
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| Posted by Kevin Polagro on 09-Aug-2005 | The Old FartAn old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem.
"I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."
Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office.
"Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly.
"Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"
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| Posted by Ella F. Unt on 09-Aug-2005 | Genie In A BottleTwo men are walking along the beach on day when they find a bottle buried in the sand. As they are brushing the sand off, a genie pops out and tells them he will give each of them one wish.
After thinking a moment the first man says, I wish I were the world's smartest man."
"Done, says the genie, and the man suddenly starts explaining Einstein??™s Theory of Relativity to his friend.
The second man thinks for a moment, then says, "I want to be smarter than him!"
"Done," says the genie, and turns him into a woman!
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| Posted by Lady Joker1975 on 09-Aug-2005 | Women's BreastsWhat does a 40 year old woman have between her breasts that an 18 year old doesn't?
Her navel!
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