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():battle of sexes (734): Do you know how to have sex?


Posted by Castro C. Ntsebeza on 13-Aug-2005

Do you know how to have sex?

Man walks up to a farmers house, knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, the man knocked, again, asked the same question. Again, not amused, she screamed get the hell away. Later, she told her husband of the incident. he said he would stay home the following day just in case.

Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while the lady answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she said yes. The man replied, great, give some to your husband the next time you see him , and tell him to keep away from my wife.


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Doctor's request


Posted by Julie Evangelou on 13-Aug-2005

Doctor's request

A man complained to his wife, one morning, that he was too ill to go to work. When she asked him what was wrong, he replied that he had loose bowels, stomachache and pains in his genitals.

His wife decided to telephone the doctor for advice and when she described his symptoms the doctor asked if she could call into the surgery with a sample of her husbands feces, urine and sperm.

She went upstairs to her husband who asked her what the doctor had said. "Oh" she replied, "he wants me to bring in a pair of your undershorts!"


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Smokin'


Posted by Tutti Fruitti on 13-Aug-2005

Smokin'

Knew a girl at work once who was truly concerned about her husband's smoking. She told me that she had finally gotten him to agree to limit his smoking at home to only those times when they had finished making love. She had gotten the idea from a classic movie they had both see on TV called "Cold Turkey".

After about a week, I asked her how it was going.

"Well, not too bad." she said, getting up off of a pillow she had in her chair and limping towards the photocopy machine. "I've gotten him down to about a pack a night now."

submitted by: Lisa


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Deciding on how many kids


Posted by catherine chsksi on 13-Aug-2005

Deciding on how many kids

A newly married couple was visiting friends when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."

Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Men's Chain Letter


Posted by Brandi Bender on 13-Aug-2005
Men's Chain Letter
This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost a thing. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented.

Then bundle up your wife or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.

At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, 4 of whom were worth keeping.

REMEMBER - this chain brings luck.

One day a man forwarded this letter and the next day he received the woman who had been named Hooter of the Year at the restaurant chain. An Alaska man was able to choose between a massage therapist and a nymphomaniac chef.

You can be lucky, too, but don't break the chain!! One man broke the chain and he got his ex-wife back.


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Back from the Dead


Posted by phil jones on 13-Aug-2005
Back from the Dead
Mrs. Baker's husband died, and after the funeral the guys that worked in the cemetery were carrying out the coffin and accidentally bumped into a pole. From inside the coffin they heard a moan, and they lifted the lid to see that miraculously Mr. Baker had come back to life.

Ten years later he died again and when the guys were carrying him out of the church Mrs. Baker yelled," WATCH OUT FOR THAT POLE!"

submitted by- Stevi


   

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