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| Posted by Amy Hehehe on 09-Aug-2005 | Doctors and nursesA doctor started having an affair with his nurse. Shortly after their affair began, she announced that she was pregnant.
Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave the nurse a large amount of money and asked her to go out of the country, to Germany, to wait out the pregnancy and have the baby there.
'But how will you know when our baby is born?' she asked.
'Well,' he said 'after you've had the baby just send me a postcard and write Sauerkraut on the back.'
Not knowing what else to do, she took the money and went off to Germany.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at his surgery.
'John, dear,' she said, 'you received a very strange postcard in the mail today and I don't understand what it means.'
'Just wait until I get home and I'll read it,' he replied.
Later that evening, the doctor came home and read his postcard. It said, 'Sauerkraut, Sauerkraut, Sauerkraut - two with wieners, one without.'
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| Posted by Rikki d. Beriault on 09-Aug-2005 | Italian honeymoonMaria just got married and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin and very inexperienced around men.
So, on her wedding night, while staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her.
'Don't worry Maria,' says the mother. 'Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.'
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.
Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'
'Don't worry, Maria,' says his mother. 'All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'
So up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs.
Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs.'
'Don't worry Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing the better part of three toes.
When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot-and-a-half.'
'Stay here and stir the pasta,' says the mother. 'This is a job for Mama!'
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| Posted by Chris Rinchik on 09-Aug-2005 | WendyThere's this guy named Jack, and he has a girlfriend named Wendy Jack loves Wendy a lot.
To prove how much he loves her, he gets 'Wendy' tattooed on his penis. When it's erect, it says her name, and when deflated, it reads 'Wy'.
So, when she sees her name on his masculine member, she is overwhelmed.
He pops the question and she accepts. They decide to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon.
Once there, they try out all the local culture, including a nude beach.
They are having a great time when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing and get something to drink at the beach bar.
He walks over to the bar with his deflated love muscle, trying not to let his eyes wander and end up embarrassing himself.
He orders a drink from the Jamaican guy at the bar, who is also naked.
He is surprised to note that the bartender also has 'Wy' tattooed on his penis!
Jack says to the guy, 'Wow, what a coincidence. So, you have a girlfriend named "Wendy" and her name is tattooed on your penis, too?'
The bartender looks slowly down at Jack, back to his and starts
laughing.
Flashing a wide grin, he says, 'No, mon. Mine says, "Welcome to Jamaica. Have a nice day."'
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| Posted by nick collazo on 09-Aug-2005 | Better health coverThe Queen is visiting one of Australia's top hospitals and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
'Oh my God,' said the Queen. 'That's disgraceful. What is the meaning of this?'
The doctor leading the tour explains,
'I am sorry your Royal Highness, but this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day they'll explode and he would die instantly.'
'Oh I am so sorry' said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blowjob.
'Oh my God,' said the Queen, 'what's happening there?'
The doctor replied, 'Same problem, better health cover.'
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| Posted by Edward Peck on 09-Aug-2005 | Royal WeddingOn the day of the wedding, Sophie was getting dressed surrounded by all her family when she suddenly realized she had forgotten to get any shoes.
Panic! Then her sister remembered she had a pair of white shoes from her wedding, so she lent them to Sophie for the day.
Unfortunately they were a bit too small and by the time the festivities were over, Sophie's feet were agony.
When she and Edward withdrew to their room, the only thing she could think of was getting her shoes off.
The rest of the family crowded round the door to the bedroom and they heard roughly what they expected: grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream.
Eventually they heard Edward say, 'God, that was tight.'
'There,' whispered the Queen 'I told you she was a virgin.'
Then, to their surprise they heard Edward say, 'Right. Now for the other one.'
This was followed by more grunting and straining and at last Edward said,
'My God, that was even tighter'
'That's my boy,' said the Duke. 'Once a sailor, always a sailor.'
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| Posted by Justin Andre on 09-Aug-2005 | New drugsBelow is a list of new drugs users of viagra have requested the me makers of viagra develop.
VIAGRA-SKI
Wonderful for those who have a hard time getting up on water-skis. Forty-five minutes after taking it, you'll get up and stay up, out of the water.
DIRECTRA
A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA
Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting anew one.
CHILDAGRA
Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents".
COMPLIMENTRA
In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA
Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA
Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA
This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
FLYAGRA
This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA
About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into special prosecutors.
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