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| Posted by Dezaray Phillips on 09-Aug-2005 | Doesn't belongWhich of the following doesn't belong?
(a) meat
(b) eggs
(c) wife
(d) blow job
(D) A blowjob, because its possible to beat your meat, your eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Charlotte M. D on 09-Aug-2005 | Between the thighsWe recently conducted a poll as to whether men prefer women with large thighs or women with thin thighs.
The results were pretty surprising.
10% of those men surveyed preferred women with large thighs.
10% of the men preferred women with thin thighs.
And the other 80% preferred what's in between them.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by ~rAcHel~ on 09-Aug-2005 | Suck it off!Three boys lived in an old apartment building.
Their parents warned them against going in the basement, because a crazy old lady lived down there.
One day, the boys were bored, so of course they decided to go see the crazy old lady, and of course she caught them.
"Now you'll pay!" she cackled, "I'm going to cut off your special parts with the whatever your fathers use at work!"
She went to the first little boy and said "What job does your father have?"
"He's a lumberjack!"
So she cut off his penis with an axe.
The next little boy said his dad was a computer technician, so she sawed his off with a memory chip.
When the old lady came to the last little boy, she was confused to see him laughing hysterically.
Trying to sound menacing, she towered over the boy and said, "I'll chop it off!"
The boy stopped laughing for a minute. "Well, my dad works at a candy factory, in the lollipop department. You're gonna half to suck it off instead!"
Submitted by hotpinkheels
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Bob Jones on 09-Aug-2005 | 10 things not to sayTen Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents.
1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.
2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?
3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head?
4. Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!
5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.
6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable, in my opinion.
7. Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.
8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?
9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.
10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by Barry B on 09-Aug-2005 | TacksA guy walks into the drug store and asks for a package of condoms.
The pharmacist says, "That'll be $5 with the tax."
"Tacks!?" the guy exclaims, "I thought you rolled them on!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Marshky Marshk on 09-Aug-2005 | PedroPedro was standing in the streets of Rome, thinking, "Look at all those trees. I planted those trees. With my own hands I put every seed in the ground. But did anyone call me Pedro the Gardener? Nooo."
"And look at all the roads. They are all created by me. I worked day and night for years to complete them. But did anyone call me Pedro the road builder? Nooo."
"Not to forget, the houses. I build them too. Carefully I placed every single brick, so everyone could stay warm every year. But did anyone call me Pedro the house builder? Nooo."
"But when I fucked ONE donkey..."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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