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| Posted by Damian O. Miller on 14-Aug-2005 | Dog in HeatLittle Johnny wanted to walk his dog. So he goes to his mom and
asked, "Mom? Can I take the dog for a walk?" His mom replies,
"No son, you can't." "Why not?" Little Johnny inquired. "Because
son, she is in heat," she explained. "What does that mean?" he
asked. Exasperated, and not wanting to reply she said, "Go and
ask your father."
So he does and he asked his dad, "Dad? Can I take the dog for a
walk?" His father said, "No son, you can't." "Why not?" "Because
she is in heat," the dad explains. "What's that?" Not wanting to
explain, the father rubbed some gasoline on the dog's rear end
and said, "Here go ahead and take her for a walk."
So little Johnny took the dog out for a welk. Ten minutes later
he came home without the dog! The father asked, "Where is the
dog?" Little Johnny replied, "She ran out of gas a while back.
Now another dog is pushing her home."
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| Posted by Alice Tsai on 14-Aug-2005 | 18 HolesA man needs a place to stay for the night so he goes up to a
farmer's house and knocks on the door. The man opens and the guy
says he needs a place to stay for the night and the farmer says,
you can stay w/ my cows and takes him to the stable.
Another man comes to the farmer's house and asks for a place to
sleep, so the farmer says, you can stay w/ my pigs and takes the
man to the pen.
A third man comes to the farmer's house asking for a place to
stay the night and the farmer says, you can stay w/ my 18
daughters and shows him up the stairs into the bedroom.
The next day the farmer goes to wake the three men up. He goes
to the first guy and asks how he feels. He says, "Like a cow."
The farmer goes to the second man and asks him how he feels, and
he says, "Like a pig." The farmer then goes to the third man and
asks the same question. The man replies, "Like a golf ball
that's just been through 18 holes."
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| Posted by Tiger Fly on 14-Aug-2005 | Huge AssholeA man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I need help! I've
got a huge hole in my ass." The doctors says, "Drop your pants,
bend over and let's have a look." So the man complies.
Upon seeing the sight, the doctor exclaimed, "Holy shit! What
could have made a hole as big as that?" The man replies, "I work
in the zoo. When I was giving the elephant a bath, he picked up
with his trunk and fucked me up the ass!" The doctor says, "But
an elephants penis is long and thin, this hole is enormous." The
man replies, "He fingered me first".
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():sex jokes (1888): Choosing the right condom |
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| Posted by calahsman on 14-Aug-2005 | Choosing the right condomAt a mad night out a man and woman decided that they were going
2to make love for the first time. As the man was so excited he
ran out to the nearest pub to buy a condom. When he got there he
went to the machine, there was a flavoured condom for $1, a
colored condom for $2 and a metal condom for $3.
As the man only had $2 on him he bought a colouerd condom and
took it back to his girlfriend. The couple made love but the
condom split and he woman became pregnant.
Well after nine months the woman gave birth but to 2 blue baby
boy. The couple were very happy about this although it was a bit
strange. Well, the little boy grew up and one day the little boy
went up to his dad and said "dad why am i blue, i get bullied
for being different" and his dad turned around and said " you
better shut up. For $1 extra you could of been Robo Cop!"
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| Posted by Austin Garrison on 13-Aug-2005 | Too much boozeEverynight I have been drinking lately, I have wound up drinking so much I end up blowing chunks....I need to lock that poor dog up before I start drinking next time!
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