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| Posted by Sasha on 09-Aug-2005 | Doing laundryThree women always hang their laundry out in the backyard. When it rains, however, the laundry always get wet. All the laundry, that is, except for Sophie's.
The other two women wonder why Sophie never has her laundry out on the days that it rains.
So one day, they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women says to Sophie, "Say, how come when it rains, your laundry is never out?"
"Well," says Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Saul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a great day, and I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash."
"What if he has an erection?" asks one of the women.
"Honey," says Sophie, "on a day like that, you don't do the laundry!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by sarah l. mellor on 09-Aug-2005 | Birth controlThere were several women sitting around talking at their weekly club meeting.The topic of birth control came up and they started comparing methods.
The first woman said that she and her husband relied on the pill. It had been effective for them since they had started using it after their 4th child was born.
The second woman said that she used the rhythm method. But she hated having to watch the calendar.
The third woman said that she used condoms, but wished that her husband would remember to buy them himself.
The fourth woman said that she and her husband had found the perfect prevention method.
They used the "saucer and pail" method. All ears were opened at that comment. She went on to explain.... Her husband is shorter than she, so he stands on a pail whenever they make love, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, she kicks the pail out from underneath him.
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Katiekate m. Star on 09-Aug-2005 | TattooThis lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner side of her left thigh.
He had seen weirder, so he didn't think too much about it.
Then she wanted a Santa tattooed on the upper most inner side of her right thigh.
After he finished the last tattoo, he just couldn't help asking her, "Why the turkey and Santa?"
She replied, "I'm tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Lori Shake on 09-Aug-2005 | At the PharmacyWoman: Can I get Viagra here?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Can I get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: If you give me one of them, you can!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by A M on 09-Aug-2005 | JeevesA wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening.
The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off.
She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.
As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone.
Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there.
As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room.
She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door.
She looked at him and smiled. "Jeeves," she said. "Take off my dress."
He did this carefully.
"Jeeves," she continued. "Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her.
"Jeeves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties."
As he did this, the tension continued to mount.
She looked at him and then said, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Greg Y on 09-Aug-2005 | Who wants what?When God was creating the human race, he lined up all the males on one side and all the females opposite them.
Then God asked, "Which of your species would like to urinate standing up?"
Well, the males went crazy, screaming and shouting that they wanted to pee standing up.
"Fine," replied God. "Then THEY get the multiple orgasms."
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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