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| Posted by john on 09-Aug-2005 | ElevatorThree guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck they strike up a conversation.
The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E you know....
Young, urban, professional, peacefull, intelligent, ecologist."
The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you know...
Double Income, No kids, Yet!"
The third guy says. "I'm a R.U.B, you know....
Rich, Urban , Biker."
They turn to the woman and ask her ,
"What are you?"
She replies: "I'm a W.I.F.E., you know....
Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Castro C. Ntsebeza on 09-Aug-2005 | Liquor CabinetWhat do you call a closet full of lesbians?
Liquor Cabinet.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by codemasta on 09-Aug-2005 | Rose tattooTwo elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done.
In walks a young chick with a low cut blouse that revealed a rose tattoo on one breast.
One lady leaned over to the other and said, "She don't know it, but in 50 years she'll be wearing a long stemmed rose in a hanging basket."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Mike S. Meyer on 09-Aug-2005 | Dragging HarryA wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game.
As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p.m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway.
"What happened?" says the wife. "You should have been home hours ago!"
"Harry had a heart attack at the third hole," replied the husband.
"Oh, that's terrible," says the wife.
"I know," the husband answers. "All day long it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry..."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Shelly D. Goss on 09-Aug-2005 | Leaving nowRoger goes into a barber shop, sits down in the chair and has his hair cut.
When the barber finishes, Roger gets up, but as he??™s pulling out his wallet, the barber goes to take a leak in the corner of the room, then zips up and walks back over.
Handing the barber a $20 bill, Roger says, ???It??™s none of my business, but why did you just urinate in the corner of your own shop????
The barber says, ???My lease runs out in a week. What do I care????
The barber goes to the register to get Roger his change. When he comes back, he finds Roger squatting in the corner, dropping a deuce.
???What the hell are you doing???? the barber yells.
???Hey,??? Roger says, ???I??™m leaving now.???
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Dee Dawg on 09-Aug-2005 | Fore!A man steps up for a tee shot with a row of trees out of bounds on the right side.
He slices it wildly and it heads off in the direction of the trees. He reloads and forgets about the ball.
About 15 minutes later, a highway patrolman approaches him. "This your ball?" asks the policeman.
"Yes, I think it is," says the golfer.
"Well," says the officer, "it went over the trees and through the window of a house. It hit a cat, and the cat ran out the front door. A school bus was driving by at the time and the driver, while trying to avoid the cat, hit a tree. The bus exploded into flames and there were no survivors."
"Oh, God," says the golfer. "Is there anything I can do?"
The policeman replies, "Well, you might try keeping your left arm a little straighter and start your downswing with your hips."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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