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| Posted by Trent Reeve on 09-Aug-2005 | Evening of bridgeShortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel's home for an evening of bridge.
The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel's wife and vice versa. After many hands, the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar.
When the sound of splashing echoed through the family room, his wife was greatly embarrassed and attempted to apologize, to which the Colonel's wife smiled demurely, "Don't worry about it, this is the first time all evening that I've been able to tell what he has in his hand."
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| Posted by Arielle on 09-Aug-2005 | Biggest Hard-onThree couples (friends) travel together to a resort hotel, only to find that their reservations have been screwed up and they all have to stay in one room.
There are 2 king-sized beds and it is decided that the men will all sleep in one, and the women in the other.
In the middle of the night, the guy in the middle wakes up and says to the man next to him, "Let me out, I have GOT to get to my wife! I have the biggest hard-on I have ever had and I've got to get to her NOW!"
The other guy says, "O.K. Do you want me to come with you?"
"What the hell for?" asks the other.
"Because that's MY dick you're holding!" he says.
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| Posted by codemasta on 09-Aug-2005 | Model of EfficiencyA man asked the waiter for a look at the dessert menu, which the waiter produced from a special pouch in his uniform. The man ordered a desert, and the waiter relayed the information to the kitchen via a special communications device built into his wrist watch. When desert arrived, the man was without a spoon. The waiter produced one from his breast pocket.
The man was amazed. He asked the waiter how it is that the waiter is so well prepared to handle every problem without ever having to return to the kitchen. The waiter answered that the owner is an efficiency expert who wanted everything to run without a wasted moment.
The man asked the purpose of the string tied to every waiters' trousers. The waiter replied that, when he uses the urinal, he avoids dirtying his hands (and therefore doesn't need to waste time washing them). He simply pulls the string, and his penis pops out.
The man asked the waiter how he gets his penis back in. The waiter replied,
"That's easy.... I use the spoon."
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| Posted by Becca on 09-Aug-2005 | 3 Men, 3 WishesThree men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer. The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''
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| Posted by Brian G. Hurley on 09-Aug-2005 | 40' Long and StiWhat is 40 feet long and smells like urine? Line dancing at the nursing home.
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| Posted by K T. C on 09-Aug-2005 | 80-PounderDid you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
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