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| Posted by Nick G. on 10-Aug-2005 | Everyday LifeAn old lady stops me in the street and says, ???Can you see across the road"
I reply ???Hang on love, I'll go and have a look"
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| Posted by Lord Raven on 10-Aug-2005 | Family LifeWe have a traditional marriage. . . My husband goes out and gets the bacon,
and I stay home and burn it.
I'm a terrible housekeeper; even my little white lies are tattletale gray.
My housekeeping is so bad..... that after doing it for 21 years I??™m still not
on a first name basis with Mr. Clean.
I'm a terrible cook...its official...Ralph Nader came over and declared my
"Cuisinart" unsafe at any speed.
Motherhood is an unfair job, it requires you have all the fun before it even
begins.
I must be an agnostic. Most of the time I doubt God's existence, but on the
first day of school . . . I'm a believer.
They live under your roof, they eat your food, they spend your money . . .
then they get married . . . hire live-in maids and break your heart.
I'm at that awkward age: I have a kid who can't wait to get behind the wheel
of a car and I can't manage without bifocals.
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| Posted by Burne L. Taylor on 10-Aug-2005 | Eat mushroomsOne man had four wives who all died. A colleague in the office asked him, "Why
did your first wife die?"
"Mushroom poisoning."
"And the second?"
"Mushroom poisoning."
"And the third?"
"Mushroom poisoning."
"And the fourth?"
"Concussion."
"???"
"Didn't want to eat mushrooms."
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| Posted by Herb E. Handcock on 10-Aug-2005 | So strong and braveA woman is in bed with her lover. she says, "my love, you're so strong and
brave, what would you do if suddenly my husband appeared in the doorway?"
"i would beat the s*** out of him. i would screw off his head and say it was
always that way...."
suddenly, they hear a frightened voice from the doorway, "no, no, i am still
for two more days on a business trip."
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| Posted by BlaineGurl on 10-Aug-2005 | Screams as usual"Why you have not rescued your wife when she drowns?"
"I've not understood that she drowns. She screams as usual."
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| Posted by Jeff Truthan on 10-Aug-2005 | Wash it pleaseA man comes home at the evening after the work. His wife meets him, kisses
him. The man is surprised with a such sudden change. He sits at a table in
kitchen, but the wife informs him:
"Honey, our ratio??™s transfer to the market ratios. Supper costs $5."
The husband has estimated and decided it isn't too expensive. He has agreed.
The wife lays the table. The husband pays off. After the supper he gives a shirt
to her and says:
"Wash it, please."
"It costs $3" the wife answers.
The husband pays $3 to her. The wife washes. The time for going to bed. The
man touches his wife, but she says:
"It costs $10."
"But I have only $7 left" the husband responds, turns back and asleep.
The man wakes up at the night because of the noise. He sees a light in all
rooms. His wife looking for something in a handbag. He asks her:
"What are you looking for?"
"I am looking for $3 to lend you."
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