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| Posted by Gillian Jones on 09-Aug-2005 | Except You!A drunk man walks into a bar and says, "I'm gonna take a dump on all of you except for...you! Why me? Because I'm gonna wipe my ass with you!
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| Posted by Chris N. Thornberry on 09-Aug-2005 | Urinal TestDid you hear about the Aggie that was up all night studying for his urinal test?
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| Posted by Bob Jones on 09-Aug-2005 | If I Had A VaginaOne night a man walked into a bar and saw a beautiful women sitting at the bar. He walked up to her and asked "how much is it for a hand job?"
The women replied " $500 dollars sir"
"$500 dollars! That??™s a lot of money are you any good?"
"Well sir you see that car out there?"
The women pointed to a sleek black Dodge Viper.
"Yes," said the man.
"Well, I paid for that car with all the money I made doing hand jobs", with that statement the man agreed to the service.
The next night the same man walked into the same bar and went up to the same beautiful women and asked "Miss, do you do blow jobs?"
???Why yes I do, it costs $80"
"$80 Wow!, are they any good because that??™s a lot of money."
"Well you see that building out there?"
The woman pointed to a company office building.
"Yes" said the man.
"Well, I paid for that company with all the money I've made doing blow jobs!" the man agreed and the women did the service.
The very next night the same man walked into the same bar and went to the same beautiful woman at the bar and asked "Miss would you have sex with me?"
To which the woman replied, "You see that island out there?"
The woman pointed to Manhattan Island, the man said "don't tell me, you paid for that island with the money you made by having sex with people?"
"No, but I could have bought that island with the money I made by having sex with men if I had a vagina!"
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| Posted by becky yawn on 09-Aug-2005 | your daddy so boldyour daddy so bold when he were's a turtle neck he looks like a broken condom
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| Posted by eric yim on 09-Aug-2005 | Brown BallsThe father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly.
"All right" says the Doc, "drop 'em and let's have a look."
Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims "Yes, you've got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you've got. They're truly remarkable!".
The patient is a bit embarrassed and says "Look Doc, what about the rash?"
"Oh that's easy," said the Doc, "Here's some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask....."
"No," said the patient, "You can't. Now, is that all Doc?"
"Well, " said the Doctor, " You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day, and those really are the brownest balls I've ever seen!"
The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day.
"What?"
she yells, "Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven't even got time to wipe my arse!"
"Ah" he said, "And that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about..."
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| Posted by Matt Freeman on 09-Aug-2005 | Sleep, Sleep, Nails!One day 3 dogs wer sitting in front of the vets office. The 1st dog notcies the othher dogs and asked them what they did.
"i ate my owners cord" said the first dog.
"and im getting put 2 sleep."
"me 2"said the 2nd dog.
"what did u do"asked the 1st dog to the 3rd dog.
'well u c my owner likes 2 do her house work in the nude so yesterday she was vacuuming in the nude of course and i couldn't resist i jumped on and had the ride of my life."
responded the 3rd dog.
"so your getting put 2 sleep 2?"
asked the 2nd dog.
"no, i'm getting my nails trimmed."
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