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():love jokes (2491): Excerpts from the Book of Remembrance |
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| Posted by Cookie Monster on 10-Aug-2005 | Excerpts from the Book of Remembrance"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin Trade
Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face". Lower,
Mansfield.
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| Posted by Rob on 10-Aug-2005 | When Diana died"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did. Now
the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile for the rest of my
life, but I will probably break that one too".
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| Posted by BLitz on 10-Aug-2005 | GrandmaKnock Knock!
Who is it?
Grandma!
Grandma who?
Knock Knock!
Who is it?
Grandma!
Grandma who?
Knock Knock!
Who is it!
Grandma!
Grandma who? (shuffle)
Knock Knock!
Who is it!
Aunty!
Aunty who?
Aunty good from keeping grandma knocking on the door?
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| Posted by Laura L. Fretz on 10-Aug-2005 | New Math?A boy was teaching girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's
subtraction."
Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
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| Posted by aidan corrigan on 10-Aug-2005 | Talk to Your SonJimmy's mom dragged him in front of his dad during the football game.
"Talk to your son," she said. "He refuses to obey a word I say."
The father turned to Jimmy angrily. "Jimmy, how dare you disobey your mother?
Do you think you're better than your old man?"
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| Posted by Aardvark on 10-Aug-2005 | New DadOne day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out
to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new
son.
Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did
everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn't stop crying. Finally,
the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor.
After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the baby to stop
crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the
diaper area. When he opened the diaper, he found was indeed full.
"Here's the problem," the doctor explained. "He just needs to be changed."
The perplexed father remarked, "But the diaper package specifically says it's
good for up to 10 pounds!"
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