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| Posted by Kronik Krontz on 09-Aug-2005 | Expensive DateA college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetisers, lobster, champagne. . .the works.
Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?"
"No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid."
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| Posted by Alexandra M. Phillips on 09-Aug-2005 | Rejected Valentines10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk / But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow / Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store / In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right / I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class / Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished / But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SANDWICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass / Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie / I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny / So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister / You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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| Posted by whoagurl469 on 09-Aug-2005 | undertakergay guy walks into an undertakers to sort out his dead partner. How would you like your partner sir, buried or cremated ? said the undertaker. Oh, Id like him curried please said the gay guy. CURRIED ! said the undertaker, why on earth would you want your partner curried......? the gay guy looks at the undertaker and says.......I just want to feel him burn my arse one more time........
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| Posted by dawn whispers on 09-Aug-2005 | Sex ProblemThere was a man complaining to a doctor about a sexual problem.
" Doc, I just think my penis is too damn small! Im giving my wife no pleasure at all!" "Hmm" says the doctor, "What kind of beer do you drink?"
The man answers "I drink American Beer...why?"
The doctor explains " Aha! that's your problem! American Beer is bad! It shrinks things. Drink Guiness it makes things larger! Come back in two months."
" Okay, Ill start drinking Guiness. See you in two months!" The man says as he leaves.
TWO MONTHS LATER
The man bursts through the door and thanks the doctor so much for helping him.
"Hmm I see you drink Guiness now?"
Asks the Doctor.
"No way!" Says the man, " I got my wife on American Beer!"
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| Posted by E G on 09-Aug-2005 | lesbiansWhat do lesbians do when they have their periods? Finger paint
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| Posted by NINER on 09-Aug-2005 | Viagra for GrandpaGrandpa and grandma were living with their son and daughter-in-law.
Grandpa noticed that his son had a bottle of Viagra and asked if he could have one.
His son said, "Dad, I don't think you should take one they're very strong and expensive."
Grandpa said, "I know -- but I want to try one. How much are they?"
His son said, "They're $10 each."
Grandpa only had a $50 bill but he said he was going to the bank and would leave $10 under his son's pillow that night.
The next morning his son found $110 under his pillow and said "Dad, I told you it was only $10 -- there's $110 under my pillow!"
Grandpa said, "That's okay, -- the other $100 is from Grandma!"
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