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| Posted by Taz on 09-Aug-2005 | ExpensiveThe wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair and expensive, imported knickers.
"After all, dear," she said to her husband, "You wouldn't expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?"
"No," her husband replied. "Nor, would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis and Christine
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| Posted by Amy Hakwkins on 09-Aug-2005 | Give me a signA middle age couple was really having a hard time communicating about sex.
To fix this problem they agreed to seek advice.
When they went to the shrink he told them that they had to give each other clearer signs and maybe they sould be more open about it.
When they came home the wife told her husband that when ever he wanted to have sex he should squeeze her breasts once and when he didn't to squeeze them twice.
The man agreed, and then told his wife that when she wanted to have sex she should pull on his penis once, and when she didn't to pull it 150 times.
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| Posted by Nathan J. Boy on 09-Aug-2005 | Mafia WeddingAll the announcements at the wedding are done first in Italian THEN in English.
Everybody is kissing the hand of some old guy in the corner.
The majority of the guests arrive in bigger limos than the wedding party.
The old bathroom attendant knows nearly everybody by name and cleans guns for a fee.
Another guest tells you that his Dad is getting out of the Federal Pen on tax evasion charges soon.
The reception is held in Brooklyn.
A big guy tells you to be careful about reaching your jacket real quick.
New York cops have cleared all the streets in a five block radius to make the guests feel comfortable.
The women are pinching your checks and the men are pinching your butt.
The biggest flap in the wedding is when they try to tow the FBI survellience van.
EVERYBODY is kissing the groom on both cheeks.
The only thing the other guests know about North Carolina is that Uncle Guido retired to Goldsboro and opened a chain of strip joints there.
You need a translator to congratulate the bride!
Submitted by Curtis
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| Posted by Babidoll on 09-Aug-2005 | Nude Mowing"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,
"Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
Submitted by Curtis
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| Posted by Karkas on 09-Aug-2005 | Bad loverOne day a husband said to his wife "Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly."
She replied "Well, you succeeded."
Submitted by Curtis
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| Posted by TJ Holder on 09-Aug-2005 | House keepingOne day a husband was a little concerned with the spending of the house keeping money.
He said to is wife, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?"
She said "Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"
Submitted by Curtis
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