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| Posted by Tomy on 14-Aug-2005 | Eye ContactQ. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Because breasts don't have eyes.
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| Posted by flameb0y on 14-Aug-2005 | Guys you'll find in the restroomWe've all come across some of these guys before. Unless you're a
girl, that is. Want to know the generic name for that odd guy
you saw 3 urinals down? Look no further.
1. Excitable: Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips
shorts.
2. Sociable: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3. Cross-eyed: Looks into the next urinal to see how the other
guy is fixed.
4. Timid: Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal,
comes back later.
5. Indifferent: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6. Clever: No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on
floor.
7. Worried: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick
inspection.
8. Frivolous: Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to
hit flies and bugs.
9. Absent-minded: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10. Childish: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see
it bubble.
11. Sneaky: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent,
knows man in other stall will be blamed.
12. Patient: Stands very close for a long time, reads with free
hand.
13. Desperate: Waits in long line, teeth grinding, pisses in
pants.
14. Tough: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry.
15. Efficient: Waits until he has to crap and does both.
16. Fat: Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in
shower.
17. Little: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
18. Drunk: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
19. Disgruntled: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
20. Conceited: Holds two-inch dick like baseball bat.
21. Confused: Is actually a woman who wandered in by mistake.
22. Show-off: Stands as far back as he can, challenges other
guys to distance contests.
23. Horny: Stands close, masturbates, ejaculates in urinal.
24. Kinky: Brings girlfriend/wife in, has sex in the urinal.
25. Eye-Catcher: Cross dresser walks in.
26. Newbie: Asks for help.
27. Meek: Takes a toilet stall for the sole purpose of pissing.
28. Comparative: Looks at his own penis, then at his neighbor's,
wishes he was the other guy.
29. Chronic diarrhea: Can't wait for a toilet stall to open up,
takes a dump in a urinal.
30. In a hurry: Walks in, pisses on floor, walks out.
31. Embarrassing: Babysitting father takes you and daughter into
the restroom, daughter asks a lot of questions.
32. Neat freak: Carries in a can of Lysol, cleans his urinal
before and after use.
33. Hungry: Carries in a fast-food lunch, eats while pissing.
34. Juvenile: Takes a urinal for the sole purpose of vandalizing
the wall above it.
35. Pimp: Vandalizes the wall with easy girl's numbers.
36. Playa: Takes a urinal just to get those numbers.
37. Whore: Walks in and writes her own number above a urinal.
38. Moral: Tapes a message to the wall warning people of sex or
drugs.
39. Angry: Kicks in the back of the urinal to relieve anger.
40. Curious: Uses the kicked-out urinals just to see where his
piss will end up.
41. Mid-life crisis: Asks guys what their pissing style is,
tries it to see if it makes him feel younger.
42. Techno-geek: Brings in a web-cam.
43. Cruel: Blocks urinals until they get paid for moving.
44. Crueler: Doesn't pay, pisses on the cruel guy.
45. Cruelest: Doesn't pay, pisses on the guy, robs him of what
he made.
46. Wonderment: Says something along the lines of "What did I
drink to make it THAT color?"
47. Scientific: Analyzes the guy's abnormal piss, mails him the
results.
48. Molasses: Takes so long to piss, he falls asleep against
the wall.
49. Tricky: Sticks left leg into urinal, pisses down leg, piss
ends up in his shoe usually.
50. Animal instincts: Pulls down pants, lifts leg.
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| Posted by SwEeTiE PiE on 14-Aug-2005 | 25 ways to cope with stress25 Ways To Cope With Stress
1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out.
See how many you can do at once.
2. Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
4. When someone says "Have a nice day," tell them you have other
plans.
5. Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
6. Dance naked in front of your pets.
7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to
pre-school as if nothing is wrong.
8. Fill out your tax forms using Roman Numerals.
9. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them
from high places.
10. Leaf through a "National Geographic" and draw underwear on
the natives.
11. Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next
day.
13. Buy a subscription of "Sleezoid Weekly" and send it to your
boss's wife.
14. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
15. Drive to work in reverse.
16. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
17. Tell your boss to "blow it out of your mule" and let him/her
figure it out.
18. Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
19. Polish your car with ear wax.
20. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret
messages.
21. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it
comes back to you.
22. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
23. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
24. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend
they're in jail.
25. Make up a language and ask people for directions.
Bonus. Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and place
it back in the wrapper.
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| Posted by CuTiE BaBiE on 14-Aug-2005 | Magic TrickGary and John are in a sauna. Gary says to John, "Do you want to
see a magic trick?" John says, "Sure."
"OK. Face away from me and get down on your hands and knees."
John turns around and gets down on all fours. "There," says
Gary, "...does that feel like you've got a thumb up your ass?"
"Yes!" Replies John. Gary waves both of his hands in the air,
"Magic!"
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| Posted by foxee sexee chik on 14-Aug-2005 | sexdon't steel your older brothers condoms because he don't need
you to fuck the farm animals
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| Posted by twatty Wanks on 14-Aug-2005 | boys and girlsboy:i have 5 conkers
girl:i have 6 conkers
boy:i have 10 marbles
girl: i have 12 marbles
boy takes off his pants
boy:i bet you haven't got one of these
girl:no i haven't
taking off her skirt
girl: but i have one of these and with one of these i can get as
many of those as i want
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