|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Justin R. Timberlake on 09-Aug-2005 | Farmer's wifeSo one night, the farmer gets drunk. He grabs his wife's tits and says, "If these could give milk, we could get rid of the cows."
He grabs her butt and says, "If this could give eggs, we could get rid of the chickens."
The wife grabs the farmer's dick and says, "And if this stayed hard, we could get rid of your brother."
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Chris Bayless on 09-Aug-2005 | In the darkWife: Oh, come on.
Husband: Leave me alone!
Wife: It won't take long.
Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Wife: I can't sleep without it.
Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Wife: Because I'm Hot.
Husband: You get hot at the darnest times.
Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Wife: You don't love me anymore.
Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Wife: (Sob-Sob)
Husband: All right, I'll do it.
Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?
Husband: I can't find it.
Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Husband: There! Are you satisfied?
Wife: Oh, yes, honey.
Husband: Is it down far enough?
Wife: Oh, that's fine.
Husband: Now go to sleep. The next time, it's your turn to get up and turn the thermostat down.
Wife: Yes, honey.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Andrina T. Phillip on 09-Aug-2005 | Caring manQ. How many honest, caring, intelligent men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by pager on 09-Aug-2005 | New kitchenA man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for small, $6500 for medium, and $14,000 for large. The man was sure he wanted a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking quite dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Neo X. Queen on 09-Aug-2005 | Macho manTypical macho man married typical good looking lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. "
"I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you. "
"I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. "
"Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at ten o'clock every night...... whether you're here or not."
Submitted by for4
Edited by Calamjo
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jau on 09-Aug-2005 | Toilet paperFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?", she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years", he replies.
The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
"Worked for your ass, didn't it?"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
