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| Posted by Henry Betteridge on 09-Aug-2005 | Farting in the RestaA very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night waiting for her date. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.
Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!".
The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way is it headed?"
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| Posted by Yo Mama on 09-Aug-2005 | Landing in TorontoThe jumbo jet is just coming into an Airport in Toronto on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom.
"This is Capt Johnson. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today, and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto. He forgets to switch off the intercom. The whole plane can now hear the conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto? Now all ears in the plane are listening in to this conversation.
"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a crap. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one with the huge tits. I'm gonna wine and dine her , take her back to my room, and shag her all night."
Everyone in the plane is trying to get a look at the new stewardess. She's so embarrassed that she runs from the back of the plane to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says, "No need to run, dear, he's gotta take a shit first!"
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| Posted by Izzy w. Glimcher on 09-Aug-2005 | Penguins &SealsThere was a penguin that was driving his car on a hot summer day, and his car broke down, luckily he was right near a gas station. The penguin stopped and the machanic said he could fix it, but it would be awhile. So the penguin went inside and bought a vanilla icecream cone.The penguins vanilla ice cream melted all over him, so when he was done he cleaned his hands and went to check on his car. When he got out there he asked the machinic if he knew what was wrong with his car, the machanic looked at him and said " I think you blew a seal."
And the penguin said, " Oh no, that just the vanilla ice cream."
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| Posted by jsw240 on 09-Aug-2005 | the hanting kidOnce there was a kid who loves to kill people. He found Ahouse full of people. He said oh this is a good place to kill these people. Little did he know these people were really stupid. So that night he sneak in the house. hes was in the daughters room she was sleeping. When he went over there she woke up and said stop you are scaring me. Then the kid got hes knife and kill her. After that he went in the family room and saw the rest of the family. When they saw him they all said stop you are scaring me. Then the child got his knike and kill them all. Told you they were stipid Haha
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| Posted by Jeremy A. Overton on 09-Aug-2005 | Peter PanWhy does Peter Pan fly?
You would fly too if somebody hit your peter with a pan!
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| Posted by Lindsey Stefani on 09-Aug-2005 | Miss PiggyWhy does miss Piggy douche with honey??
Cause Kermit likes sweet and sour pork!! lol
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