|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by BILLY B. PLOTTER on 09-Aug-2005 | Fat HeadA husband, wife and a son walk into an ice-cream shop. The dad says I'll have a chocolate, the wife says I'll have a vanilla.
Then the dad slaps his son in the back of the head and says, "What do you want fat head?"
The lady helping them says "Why did you hit him in the back of the head and call him fat head?"
The husband says, "There are three things in life a man wants:
The 1st thing is a nice big truck. And you see that nice big truck sitting there (outside) that's my nice truck.
The 2nd thing in life a man wants is a nice big house. You seen that nice big house on top of the hill on the edge of town? That's my big house.
The 3rd thing in life a man wants is a nice tight pussy and I had that until fat head came along."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Sarah mc noughty lol on 09-Aug-2005 | New HookerThe new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.
She said "well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine".
"Well, what did he want to do?"
they all asked.
She said " I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn't have that much".
"So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much either".
"Finally I said, well, how much do you have"?
The marine said that he only had $25.
The new hooker said "well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand"
He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said "he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand..."
"Oh my god" they all exclaimed, "it must have been huge, then what did you do?"
With a big smile on her face, she said.
"I loaned him $75!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Aardvark on 09-Aug-2005 | My Beautiful Wife..A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retire to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber.
The man calls over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face.
The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate sex and afterwards the woman rolls out. As she returns to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "clumsy fucking bitch".
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Patrick Worthington on 09-Aug-2005 | Grass SandwichAt a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."
Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".
She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Anita Bath on 09-Aug-2005 | A Little PussyA man was on a date with a woman. They had returned to her place and were sitting on the sofa, making out. Nibbling her earlobe, the man whispered, "You know, I'd like a little pussy."
She said, "Oh, me too, mine's as big as a house."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lindsay Drue Whitley on 09-Aug-2005 | Speaking with the PhOne day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak with the pharmacist.
"I am the pharmacist," she informed him.
"Oh, in that case forget it," he replied and started to leave.
"Young man," the lady said to him, "my sister and I have been pharmacists for forty years and there is nothing we haven't heard, so what is your problem?"
"Well," the young man said reluctantly, "I have a problem with erections. Once I get hard, it won't go down for hours and hours, no matter how much I masturbate or how many times I have intercourse! Please, can you give me something for it?"
"I'll have to go in the back and talk to my sister," she informed him.
About ten minutes later she came back.
"Young man, I have consulted with my sister and the best we can give you is $100 a week and a third interest in the pharmacy."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
