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| Posted by robby girsham on 14-Aug-2005 | Fat Mom SexI was about to have sex with my really fat mother last night, so I climbed on top of her. "Can I turn the ceiling light off?" I axed.
"Why?" she replied, "Are you feeling a bit shy? Remember I used to change your diaper"
"No," I said, "because it's burning my ass!"
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| Posted by Becky Holland on 14-Aug-2005 | X-rated Movie Titles
Add Momma To The Train
Against All Bods
Airport 69
A Lad In
Alice in Pornoland
Alice in WonderBra
All the President's Women
All That Jizz
All Hands On Dick
Ally McSqueal
An American Nympho In London
America's Horniest Home Videos
American Booty
American Hair Pie
Anal-ize This
Analtasia
Angels In The Outhouse
Anus and Andy
Anus the Menace
Apackolips Now
As Good As Head Gets
Assablanca
Ass Ventura: Crack Detective
Ate Men Out
Austin Prowler - You Want to Shag Me Baby?
Babewatch
Bachelorette Party
Ballbusters
The Ball Guy
Ball Street
Bang the Bum Slowly
The Bare Bitch Project
Battlestar Orgasmica
Beat the Cock
Beaver and Buttcheeks
Beaverjuice
The Beaverly Hillbillies
Beaverly Hills Cop
Beverly Hills Cock
Beaverly Hills 90269
Beetlejism
The Big Sleazy
Big Trouble in Little ???Gina
The Bi-light Zone
Bi-tanic
The Bitches of Madison County
The Bitches of Westwick
The Bi Who Gloved Me
BJ For The Bear
Black Cock Down
Black Joe's Meat
Black To the Future
Blast From the Pants
Blazing Mattresses
The Blown Ranger
Bone Alone
The Boner Collector
Bonfire of the Panties
Boobarella
The Boobman of Alcatraz
The Boobyguard
Boomerwang
The Boweling
Boy Story
Boyz With The Wood
The Brady Munch
Bram Stroke-Her's Dracula
Brassiere to Eternity
Breast Size Story
Brian's Dong
Bring 'Em Young
Bright Lights, Big Titties
Broadcast Nudes
Brother Load
Brownfinger
Butch Lesbian and the Lapdance Kid
Buttholes and Broomsticks
Buttman and Bobbing
A Butt's Life
The Butt Pirates of Penzance
The Cable Gay
Caddy Shack-Up
Cape Rear
Captain Hooker and Peter Porn
Charlie's Anals
Children of a Leather God
Chinny Chinny Gang Bang
Choke-A-Hontas
Cinderfella
City of Anals
Clit Banger
Clitizen Kane
Clitty Lickers
A Clockwork Orgy
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind
The Cockford Files
Cocks and Rubbersons
CockTale
A Cock Worked Orange
Coming Holmes
Coming On America
Cool Hand Job Luke
Coo-coo for Cocoa Cocks
Creamer vs. Creamer
The Crisco Kid
Cum and Cummer
Crocodile Blondie
Crocodile Dun-Me
Crouching Pussy, Hidden Dildo
The Cunt of Miss October
Dances with Foxes
Dangerous Lesions
Das Booty
Dawson's Crack
Debbie Does Deliverance
Deep End with Some Lotion
Deeper Impacts
The Deer Humper
Dial M For Missionary
Dick, Tracy?
Dickman and Throbbin'
Dippy Longcocking
Dirty Panting
Dog Style Afternoon
Doing John Malkovich
Dookie Trousers, V.D.
Dr. Speckle and Ms. Hyde
Dr. Strangesex
Dr. Yes
The Drew Fairy Show
Drilling Miss Daisy
Dun-Hur
E3: The Extra-Testicle
Earth Girls Are Sleazy
Easy Ride Her
Ed's Wood
Edward Penishands
Eight Inches is Enough
Ejacula
Endless Lust
Enema of the State
Erectnophobia
Everybody Loves Rimming
Face Jam
Facial Attraction
Family Affairs
Fast Times on Rich Mens' Thighs
Ferris Bueller's Jack Off
Field Of Reams
First Times at Cherry High
A Fist Full of Bimbos
Fists of Fury
Flashpants
Flesh Gordon
The Flintbones
Foreskin Gump
Forever Hung
40 Lays in 40 Nights
For Your Thighs Only
Forrest Hump
Four Beddings and a Venereal
Frankenpenis
Free My Willy
The French Lieutenant's Boys
Friday the 69th
Fresh Tits of Bel Air
From Gusher With Love
From Queer To Eternity
Frosty the Blowman
The Fuckulty
FudgePacMan
Full Metal Bikini
G*A*S*H
The gAy Team
Genital Ben
Genital Hospital
Geranalmo
Ghostbangers
Gilligan's Bi-Land
The Girl From S.E.X.
Glad He Ate Her
The Golden Shower Girls
Gonad the Barbarian
The Good, The Bad, And the Horny
Good Fellatios
Good Will Humping
Great Ben-Wa Balls of Fire
Great Sexpectations
Guess Who Came At Dinner
Halloweenie
The Hand That Rocks the Cock
Hannah and Her Blisters
Hannah Does Her Sisters
Hard Act To Swallow
Happy Gays
Harry Pooter and the Sorceror's Bone
Headtv
He Got Gay
Herpes, the Love Bug
He Said, She Spread
Hill Street Blacks
Hindfeld
The Hindlick Maneuver
Hocus Poke Us
Honey, I Blew the Kid
Hoop Creams
The Horny-mooners
Hot Gun
The Howard Sperm Show
Howard The Fuck
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
The Humpback of Nasty Dames
The Hung and the Rest of Us
Hung Frankenstein
The Hunt for Miss October
Hymens Are Forever
I Cream On Jeannie
I Know Who You Did Last Summer
I Love Juicy
I Reenter Mama
In and Out in Beverly Hills
Independence Nights
Indiana Bones in the Temple of June
Indiana Joan and the Temple of Poon
In Deanna Jones
InRearEndence Day
Inspect Her Gadget
Intercourse with a Vampire
Interview with a Vibrator
It's Colored Purple
Jailhouse Cock
Jennifer Ate
The Joy Suck Club
Juice Bigbelow
Jumpin' Black Flesh
Jungle Beaver
Jurassic Pork
King Dong
Kinky Business
L.A. Raw
Lady Muff-diva
Lake Flaccid
The Last Anal Hero
Lawrence of a Labia
Lay Misty for Me
Lays of Our Lives
A League Of Their Moan
Leaving Lez Vegas
Lethal Weapons
License to Drill
Little Oral Annie
Little Shop of Whores
The Little Spermaid
The Load Warrior
The Loin King
Looking for Mr. Goodsex
Lord of the Rims
The Lust Boat
The Lust Bug
Lust in America
Lust in Space
Lust of the Mohicans
MacMuff
The Madam's Family
Mad Maxine Beyond Thunderbone
Malcolm XXX
The Maltese Phallus
Man on the Poon
The Man With the Golden Schlong
Married With Hormones
Mary Bobbings
Mary's Poppin'
Men In Back
Miami Spice
Mickey Blue Balls
A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream
Mighty Joe Hung
Mighty Morphin Rump Rangers
Miracle on 69th Street
Miss Cunnilingiality
Missionary Impossible
Mousecunt
Mr. Holland Groped Us
Mrs. Assfire
Much Ado About Nuttin'
Muffy the Vampire Layer
Mulholland Balls
Murphy's Brown
Mutiny on the Booty
My Bare Lady
My Best Friend's Wetting
My Favorite Munchin'
My Three Sluts
The Naked Bun
National Poontang's Summer Vacation
National Pornographic's Animal Kingdom
Natural Born Thrillers
Navy Squeals
A Nightmare On Dyke Street
Night of the Giving Head
No Holes Barred
North Phallus Forty
Nutting Hill
NYDP Blew
Oh Cum On Ye Faces
An Officer and a Genitalman
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Breast
One Lay at a Time
On Golden Blonde
On Her Majesty's Secret Crevice
Ordinary Peepholes
Over The Twat
Panty-raiders of the Lost Ark
A Passage Through India
Passenger 69
Pee-wee Sperming's Big Adventure
Pervert Strangers
Pet Secretary
Phallus in Wonderland
Picnic at Hanging Cock
The Pink Lagoon
Planet Of The Rapes
Pleasure Island
PocaHotAss
Poltergash
The Poonies
Poop Dreams
Porkin' Mindy
The Porn Birds
Porn on the Fourth of July
Pornocchio
Position Impossible
The Postman Always Comes Twice
Presumed Impotent
The Prince of Rides
Puff the Magic Drag Queen
Pulp Friction
Pumping Irene
Pushing Tit
The Puss-ridin' Adventure
Quantum Deep
The Queer Hunter
Queer and Pleasant Stranger
Raging Balls
Raiders of the Lost Arse
Rambone: First Pud
Ramb-OOH
Rambutt
Real Men Eat Keisha
Ream Acres
Rebel Without a Cooze
Red Ball Express
Regarding Hiney
Rim And Let Dive
Robin's Wood
Robofox
The Rockford Piles
The Rocky Porno Video Show
The Rodfather
Romancing the Bone
Rosemary's Beaver
The Sapornos
Satisfaction Jackson
Saturday Night Beaver
Schindler's Fist
Schindler's Lust
Screw the Right Thing
Scrotal Recall
Scrotum Buddies
Searching For Bobbi's Fissure
Seven Brides For Seven Sisters
Sexcalibur
Sex Degrees of Fornication
The Sex Family Robinson
The Sex Files
Sex Lives of the Rich and Famous
The Sexorcist
Sgt. Pecker's Lonely Hearts Club Gangbang
Shag the Dog
Shakespeare in Lust
Shanghai Poon
Shaving Amy
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Sheepless in Montana
The Sheets of San Francisco
The Shlongshank Erection
Sid In Nancy
Silence of the Loins - The Return of Hannibal Lickter
Sinderella
Single Tight Female
Single White She-male
Six Days With Seven Knights
Six Degrees of Penetration
The Sixth Inch
The '69 Olympics with Mark Spits and Greg Largeanus
Slamford & Son
Sleeping With the Enema
The Slutty Professor
Smokey and the Ass Bandit
Snatch Adams
Snatch 22
Snow White and the Seven Dildos
Some Like It Hard
Sorest Rump
The Sound of Mucus
South Pork: Big, Long and Uncut
Spank The Monkey
The Sperminator
Sperms of Endearment
Splatman
Splendor in the Ass
Spurtacus
A Star Is Porn
Starship Poopers
Star Trek: Erection
Star Trek: The Next Penetration
Star Trek: The Shaft of Khan
Star Whores: The Phantom Anus
Star Whores: Attack of the Clits
Star Whores: A New Hump
Star Whores: The Empire Strokes Black
Star Whores: Return of the Jism
Steady As She Blows
Strokedown Palace
Stroke Her, Ace!
Studsky and Snatch
Suck Rodgers in the 69th Century
Summer of 69ing
Super Hornio Brothers
Swallow Man
2069: A Space Orgy
20,000 Licks Under the Seat
21 Hump Street
The T & A Team
The Talented Mr. Lickme
A Tale of Two Titties
Tales from the Dark Hole
Tango and Gash
Terms of Endowment
The Texas Dildo Massacre
Thanks For the Mammaries
There's Something Inside Mary
Thighs Wide Shut
The Thin Pink Line
This Is Your Sex Life
Three Days of the Condom
Three Men and a Barbie
Three Men in a Babe
The Three Musket Queers
Threesomes Company
The Three Spooges
Thunderballed
Tiny Poon Adventures
Titti Slickers II - The Search for the Golden Curlies
Titty in Pink
To Live and Shave in LA
The TommyKnockers
Too Clothed for Comfort
Tool of the Nile
Top Buns
Total Reball
The Touchables
The Truman Blow
Turn Her and Hootch
Twelve Angry Lesbians
The Twilight Bone
T.W.A.T.
Twin Cheeks
The Unaboner
Uncle Buck Naked
Up and Cumming
Urban Cowgirls
Urethral Weapon
Valley of the Sluts
The Wadd Squad
Waddzilla
Watersports World
Wee Wee's Big Misadventure
The Wenches of Eastwick
A Wet Dream on Elm Street
Wet Dreams May Come
Wetness For The Prosecution
Wet Thighs Beneath
What About Boob?
When Harry Ate Sally
Where the Boys Aren't
White Men Can't Hump
Who Reamed Robin Rabbit?
Whore of the Roses
Whore of the Worlds
Who's Eating Gilbert Grape
Will and Ted's Bogus Gangbang
Willy Wonka and the Hershey Highway
Willy Wanker at the Fudge-Packing Factory
The Wizard of Aaaahs
Womb Raider
The Wonder Rears
Woodcock
The XXX Files
Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy
Yo Quiero Taco Smell
You've Got Male
You've Got Tail
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():sex jokes (1888): The Top 15 Wrigley Viagra Gum Slogans (regular version) |
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| Posted by Emily W. on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 15 Wrigley Viagra Gum Slogans (regular version)
15> Double your measure, double your gun
14> Share a stick with the one you love
13> Just like the Cubs at Wrigley Field, you, too, will be able to play at night!
12> The flavor that never lets you down
11> We put the "spear" in "spearmint"
10> Double your pleasure, double your fun, halve your whining about how it's never happened before
9> Chew it all the way home
8> New Wrigley's Viagra gum: We bring your thing to life
7> Time for the seven-inch stretch!
6> Melts in your mouth, not in your pants
5> Have *you* had a stick lately?
4> Hey old man, wanna piece of candy?
3> Recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists as an effective way to fill cavities
2> Forget the flavor -- *you'll* be like a bedpost overnight
1> It's Wrigidly Delicious!
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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():sex jokes (1888): Kinds of Breasts/Penises |
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| Posted by Jim henswot on 14-Aug-2005 | Kinds of Breasts/PenisesA young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After sixty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes. See them, and they make you cry."
A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?"
The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases.
In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard.
In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his sixties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes. Dried up, and the balls are there only for decoration.
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| Posted by johnny pettengill on 14-Aug-2005 | ButterfaceJoey was hanging in a bar and his friends asked him if he had scored lately.
Joey told his friends man I picked up this chick the other night and had the best sex ever, the only problem was she was a total Butterface!
His friends asked him what the hell is a Butterface?
Joey answered everything about her was "HOT" BUT HER FACE!
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():sex jokes (1888): The Top 15 Warnings on Condom Packages (Part I) |
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| Posted by Taz Mania on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 15 Warnings on Condom Packages (Part I)15> Purchase of this product does not guarantee opportunity to actually use this product.
14> Improper attachment may create choking hazard.
13> DANGER: You *do* realize he's never going to call you after this, don't you?
12> We call it "large," but that's just to make you feel better, stud.
11> This product does not prevent beer-goggle regret.
10> "Ribbed" is in no respect meant to imply any guarantee that your particular use of this object will actually result in "her pleasure."
9> Caution: Contents should not be mixed with alcohol and high school reunions.
8> The United States Government has recommended a Constitutional Amendment banning use of this product by anyone who is single or under 18 years of age.
7> The baby you prevent with this prophylactic will forever jab your sinning ass with pitchforks in Hell.
6> Only to be used in a locked and upright position.
5> Warning: May be used by pedophile circus clowns to make balloon French poodles.
4> Using this condom for same-sex acts is inconsistent with U.S. government policy -- and don't think we're not watching, Nancy-Boy!
3> Caution: Removal process may involve painful yanking of pubic hair.
2> Not to be taken internally unless filled with cocaine.
1> Surgeon General Warning: Cigarette smoking after use of this product has been found to cause cancer in happy, sexually satisfied laboratory animals.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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