|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Tommy K. Barf on 09-Aug-2005 | Feel like a womanOn a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails.
Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says.
He was gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Globegirl Yeates on 09-Aug-2005 | Dumb guysDumb Dave: "Oh man, this match just won't light."
Steve: "Well, whats the matter with it?"
Dumb Dave: "I don't know, it lit just a minute ago!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Saloom on 09-Aug-2005 | My Penis just diedGrandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming, "My penis just died, my penis just died!"
The nurses calm him down, and he goes back to his room.
The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him, "I thought you said yesterday that your penis died. What happened?"
Grandpa replies, "Yes, it did... but today is the viewing!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Donna Avery on 09-Aug-2005 | MoustacheWhy are brunettes so proud of their hair?
It matches their moustache.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by D Kelly on 09-Aug-2005 | Who's that?Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star.
She didn't find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and she found herself called to testify in a divorce case.
When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward.
"Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?"
"Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "But I couldn't help it."
"Couldn't help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How's that?"
"Mr. Evans deceived me."
"Exactly what do you mean?"
"See, when we signed in," she explained, "He told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by crap in the john on 09-Aug-2005 | Bear huntingThere once was a bear hunter who was having no luck in finding his quarry. All at once, he felt a tap on his shoulder from behind. It was a huge grizzly bear.
The hunter's shock was increased when the bear spoke to him, "You are hunting me, I'll bet", said the bear. "You may choose your punishment. Either I will maul you to death or fuck you up the ass!"
The hunter didn't want to die, so he consented to give the bear the pleasure of his booty. The bear left satisfied and the hunter returned to his cabin.
The next day, the hunter decided to kill the bear for revenge. But, as luck would have it, the grizzly found him first. Once again, the hunter felt the tap on his shoulder and the bear made his request. The hunter dropped his pants, bent over, and took what the beast had to offer.
The third day, the hunter was really irate and decided he would torture and kill that bear!
Once more, though, the bear was the better hunter. When the man felt the familiar tap on his shoulder, he expected to hear the grizzly's offer of a choice again, but this time the bear just said, "You're not really into this for the hunting anymore, are you?
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
