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| Posted by ASS HOLE on 12-Aug-2005 | Feeling like a woman!On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable!
I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane.
"I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches.
He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"WOMAN - Iron this shirt!"
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| Posted by donald a. scott on 12-Aug-2005 | Female Homones in beer?Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive.
No further testing is planned.
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| Posted by Jay k. Maroony on 12-Aug-2005 | Man, Woman, Santa?Q: The perfect man, the perfect woman, and Santa Claus are in a car driving down the road and there is a fatal accident. There in only one survivor. Who is it?
A: The perfect woman - Santa Claus is made up and there's no such thing as the perfect man!
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():gender jokes (1878): 10 things to never say to a naked man... |
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| Posted by Derek Nastase on 12-Aug-2005 | 10 things to never say to a naked man...Uh...top 10 things not to say to a naked man:
10: Awww...that's cute
9. Well, at least you're good at other things
8. Do you think it'll fit my old Barbie?® clothes?
7. My li'l brother has one like that.
6. Are you cold?
5. ::giggles::
4. Maybe we should just be friends
3. Can you make it dance?
2. Umm...maybe you should get dressed
1. Oh...look...its hiding!
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| Posted by Taryn Holt on 12-Aug-2005 | How do you open a can of beer?How do you open a can of beer?
That's not the point - it should be open when she gives it to you!
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| Posted by AnGeL ChRiS on 12-Aug-2005 | Great Female ComebacksMan: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then why aren't you leaving me alone?"
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
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