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| Posted by Mike Ashworth on 09-Aug-2005 | Ferry boatTwo Gays are standing on a bridge watching ships pass by underneath them.
One says to the other..."What kind of ship is that?"
"Container ship."
"OK, what''s that one over there?"
"Oil Tanker."
"How about that one?"
"That's a ferry boat."
"Really? I knew we were strong, but I never knew we had our own NAVY!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Danica R. Lee on 09-Aug-2005 | CondomsA little boy and his father walk into a drugstore and proceed down the aisle with the condoms.
The little boy sees a 3-pack of Trojans and asks his father who needs a 3-pack of condoms.
The father replies, "That's for the high school boys, one for Friday night, one for Saturday night, and one for Sunday night."
The little boy then asks, "Well, what about this 6-pack of condoms?"
The father says, "That's for the college boys, two on Friday, two on Saturday, and two on Sunday."
The little boy's eyes widen when he sees the 12-pack of condoms and asks incredously, "What kind of man needs a 12-pack?"
The father replies, "Relax, son, that's for the married man, one for January, one for February,....."
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Ramis C. Wells on 09-Aug-2005 | Born loserWhat is the definition of a born loser?
A guy who falls into a sea of tits and comes up sucking his thumb.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Wallee on 09-Aug-2005 | 3 in a bed"It's not that I mind awfully that he's unfaithful," the wife said to the marriage counselor, "but I just can't get used to sleeping three in a bed."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Chris Dutto on 09-Aug-2005 | 10 ways to get firedWhenever answering the phone, and its for your boss, say "He's under his desk screwing his secretary. Can I take a message?"
Strip off all your clothes. Complain about how hot it is in the office, regardless of the temperature.
When your boss is on the phone scream, "Dammit! I'm expecting a call!! Stay off the phone!!"
If your boss bumps into you, start screaming sexual harassment. Talk in great lengths about the state laws on harassment. Get the authorites involved. Threaten to sue.
Sleep with your boss's daughter. Videotape it. Pass out copies around the office. Brag about how easy she was.
Steal various office equipment, (pencils, staplers, desks) frame your boss for it.
When asked to do something start laughing hysterically. Continue this for five minutes. Calm down and say, "Oh, you were being serious?"
Loosen the bolts on the boss's chair.
Laugh loudly when he/she falls down. Play innocent.
Whenever the boss starts to tell you a story, interrupt him/her with a story of your own. Make sure the story is boring and has no point whatsoever.
Send a dozen roses to your boss's house when their spouse is home. Sign an ex-flames name on the card. Next day, ask him/her how their evening was. Be obvious.
Submitted by Glaci
EDited by Curtis
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| Posted by Matthew Moulton on 09-Aug-2005 | Cinderella's ballWhat did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
"Cough, gag, choke...."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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