|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Mob Kill on 09-Aug-2005 | FiremanA fireman comes home from work and is all excited. He just can??™t wait to tell his wife the good news about a new system that they have down at the station.
"Honey!" he says, "you??™re not going to believe this! Down at the station we have this new system and it??™s so great.
When Bell #1 goes off we put on all our gear.
When Bell #2 goes off we slide down the pole and jump in the fire truck.
When Bell #3 goes off we speed to the fire in the fire truck." He excitedly tells his wife.
Triumphantly he says, We??™re going to do the same thing for our sex life!
When Bell #1 goes off we are going to strip naked.
When Bell #2 goes off we will jump into bed.
When Bell #3 goes off we will screw our brains out.
Let??™s give a test run. OK, ready? "Bell #1!" (they strip naked)
"Bell #2!" (they hop into bed)
"Bell #3!" (they start screwing there brains out)
A couple of minutes later the wife starts screaming "Oh, Bell #4! Bell #4!".
The husband confused says,"Bell #4, What??™s that?"
The wife screams "More hose! More hose! Your not reaching the fire!!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by kenzie on 09-Aug-2005 | Smoking after sexTwo gals lived next door to each other, and, were good friends. Every morning, after their husbands left for work and the kids were off to school, they would just relax and have coffee together, smoking and talking.
One morning, one turned to the other and said, "do you smoke after you've had sex?"
The friend looked a bit blank for a minute then responded, "Don't know, never looked!!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Ursula -. Rickmann on 09-Aug-2005 | Dwarfs in VegasTwo dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar, they're dazzled by two women, and wind up taking them to their separate rooms. The first dwarf is disappointed, however, as he's unable to reach a certain physical state that would enable him to join with his date. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...HUH!" all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection."
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Stoney R. Sims on 09-Aug-2005 | PunctuationA teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Siemen on 09-Aug-2005 | Union ShopA dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.
When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No, I'm sorry, it isn't" , said the madam.
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop.
At the second one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No, I'm sorry, it isn't" , said the madam.
"If I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20."
Again offended, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop. His search continued until he finally reached a brothel where the madam said, "Why yes, this is a union house."
"And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That??™s more like it!", the man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead. "I'd like her for the night."
"I'm sure you would, sir", said the madam, gesturing to a fat woman in her fifties in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Danelle L. Sandella on 09-Aug-2005 | Sex addictSo this guy takes his wife to the doctor and tells him that she loves to fuck anything. The doctor tells the guy that he'll have a look at her and to go wait in the waiting room.
The doctor tells the wife to strip naked. She does so and he begins to examine her. He does the normal checkup and then notices that every time he touches her ass she begins to wiggle and squirm about. The temptation to climb on top of her and fuck her brains out became stronger and stronger until he lowers his defense and does it.
The husband hears the moaning and groaning from the office and runs in to see what the fuck is going on. He sees the doctor on top of his wife and says, "Doc! Just what the fuck do you think you are doing?!?!?!?"
The doctor replies "Uh, taking her temperature?"
The husband then takes out his pocket knife and says, "Doc, when you take that thing out there had better be numbers on it!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
