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| Posted by al -. harvey on 09-Aug-2005 | FiremenThe firemen finally get a huge fire under control, and Chief Brown has all of his men accounted for except Olson and Rosolino.
After a few minutes search, the chief looks down an alley, and there's Rosolino, leaning over a trash can. His pants are down to his ankles, and Olson is banging away from behind.
Chief Brown says, "What the hell is going on?"
Olson replies, "Rosolino passed out from smoke inhalation."
The chief says, "Smoke inhalation? You're supposed to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!"
Olson says, "I did, Chief, but then one thing led to another..."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Frances Anne on 09-Aug-2005 | SeizureWhat should you do if you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw in a load of laundry.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by duan a. maker on 09-Aug-2005 | Chicken sexA guy is very desperate one day, so he gathers up his money which only comes to $3 and goes to a whore house. He asks the woman at the desk "What can I get for this?"
She laughs, and says "I'm sorry, you cant get anything." The guy begins to cry and taken by this the woman said "Hey...Well, I'll make you a deal. I will let you fuck this chicken for $3!"
The guy is sickened, and immediately walks away, but through the night he cant stop thinking about the chicken.
The next day, he goes back to the whore house and gives the lady the $3 he had. She tells him, "Go straight across, and then turn left" The guy thanks her, and then walks off into the room she pointed for him to go to.
The next day he is still thinking about the chicken, and once again he goes to the whore house. This time he only has $2, and he goes up to the woman and says, "Gimme the chicken."
She starts shaking her head, and replies "No way! You almost killed the chicken last time! But I will let you see 2 lesbians fingerbanging each other,"
The guy says, "fine," and gives the woman his money.
"Go straight up the stairs, and onto the balcony," the woman says.
When he gets there, he is also surrounded by a crowd. He starts talking to a guy saying "Wow this is some pretty good stuff!"
The guy replies "Nah man... You should've been here yesterday. Some guy was fucking a chicken!!!"
Submitted by Admin
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Sexy Monster on 09-Aug-2005 | John and SusanJohn receives a phone call.
"Hello," he answers.
The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago."
John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"
Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."
Submitted by Yisman
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Jennifer M. Talbot on 09-Aug-2005 | Blowing ChunksOne day a man walks into his local pub and tells the bartender "Give me a pitcher of Coors."
The bartender says, "Wow, I bet you have had a bad day."
The man says, "Yeah, I lost my job and my wife is having an affair."
"I am sorry to hear that," the bartender replies.
The man drinks the pitcher and asks the bartender for another.
After about an hour or so he finishes that one as well. He is still feeling low so he asks for another one.
The bartender says, "Man, I think you have had enough."
The man says, "I promise you this will be the last one."
So he drinks it up and he goes home.
The next morning the man has a huge hangover and walks back to the bar.
"Man, you look worse than you did last night," the bartender says.
The man replied, "Just do me a faver and give me a pitcher of beer, just anything but Coors."
"Ok, why?" the bartender asks, "You were drinking it like water last night."
"I went home last night and blew chunks," was the reply.
"Ok, I understand, you did have a lot of alcohol last night, so it does not surprise me." quipped the keeper.
"No, No, No, Chunks is my dog!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by J Harry on 09-Aug-2005 | BangaTwo men lost their way in the jungle, and were later captured by cannibals.
The cannibals brought the captives to their muscular 7'7" chief, who said
to the first guy, "You have got two choices, 'Banga' or death."
The first guy thought, "Nothing can be worst than death!" So, he told the chief,"I choose 'Banga!'"
The next moment, he was brought into a hut, and was gang banged by the chief and 9 other cannibals.
He cried in pain till the whole thing ended.
When he came out of the hut, he told the second guy, "Don't choose 'Banga.' 'Banga' is very painful, so choose death."
So, when the chief posed the same question to the second guy, without hesitation he chose death.
Upon hearing this, the cannibal chief said, "Death? 'Banga' till death!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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