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| Posted by Grainne J. Whelan on 12-Aug-2005 | First Man?The newlyweds were on their honeymoon when the groom asked, "Honey, you can tell me. Am I the first man?"
She looked up and said, "Why does everybody ask me that?!"
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| Posted by Mr Female on 12-Aug-2005 | Others Before Me?The morning after an all-night honeymoon extravaganza in bed, the newlywed wife snuggles up to her hubby and asks, "Sweetheart, how many others were there before me?"
After a few minutes of silence, the wife says, "Well, I'm waiting."
And the guy takes a deep breath and says, "Well, I'm still counting."
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| Posted by LaxChica Hoy on 12-Aug-2005 | Wedding PerformanceOn the eve of his wedding night, a confused young man calls his father to ask him about his upcoming performance.
"Dad," says the son, "what do I do tonight? I'm very nervous."
"Don't worry," comforts the father. "It's all very simple. Remember that thing you used to play with as a teenager? Well, you just take that and stick it where your wife pees."
So that night, the now-confident young man takes his G.I. Joe and throws it in the toilet!
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| Posted by Simba A. Rafiki on 12-Aug-2005 | Immature WifeMy wife is so immature, every time I take a bath, she comes in and sinks my little boats!
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| Posted by Dappa D on 12-Aug-2005 | Married to a Sex ManiacIn desperation, the young bride finally wrote to Xaviera Hollander:
I'm married to a sex maniac. My husband never leaves me alone.
He makes love to me all night long, while I'm in the shower, while I'm cooking breakfast, while I'm making the beds, and even while I'm trying to clean the house. Can you tell me what to do?
Signed,
Worn Out
P.S. Please excuse the jerky handwriting
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| Posted by Canice J. Leung on 12-Aug-2005 | Stinky Feet, Bad BreathA young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."
And she says, "So have I, love."
To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks!"
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