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| Posted by Celebrities on 14-Aug-2005 | First TimeThe night was dark, the moon was low
I looked at her eyes which seemed to glow,
She licked my face, so nice and slow,
I touched her body and held her tight,
Oh what a lovely perfect night!
I put my hands on her warm breasts,
She lay there without any protest,
With her legs stretched wide, I bent down,
it was over quick,she didn't even make a sound
soon the flowing white stuff came out,
I knew that I did it some how,
it was my first time milking a COW!
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| Posted by Amanda S. Wilhelm on 14-Aug-2005 | The pink and white scarfTheres this man with a one inch penis who is very ashamed of his
"family jewels".
One day he gets asked out on a big date and decides to seek help
from a professional about his rather small willy.
"Doctor," he said "can you please help me, I have a date tonight
and I cant go looking like this."
The doctor handed him some medication and said , "Take this now
and whenever someone apologises to you your dick will grow an
inch bigger."
Well the man was very excited about this and took the medication
right away. On his way home he "accidentally" bumped into a
woman who immediately exclaimed , "Oh Im sorry."
He rushed into a nearby alleyway to check out the goods and sure
enough it was an inch bigger!
He came out of the alleyway and bumped into another stunned
pedestrian who also exclaimed , "Oh Im sorry."
The man rushed into the nearest public loo and checked out his
penis again and it was yet another inch bigger.
The man was almost to his building when he made the mistake of
bumping into a Japanese woman who bowed her head , put her hands
together in a sort of praying motion and said , "1 thousand
apologies, 1 thousand apologies."
Well the man rushed upstairs and his dick was SOoooooooooooooooo
long it wouldnt even tuck into his sock safely so he wrapped it
around his neck and painted it pink and white like a scarf.
Well the date went fine until the couple went to the movies .
His date was patting his scarf all night until finally the man
with the microphone said , "Could the man with the pink and
white scarf - please stop squirting milkshake on the roof!!!!!!!"
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| Posted by Steelers R. Awesome on 14-Aug-2005 | He Said.....She saidHe said....Do you love me just because my father left me a
fortune?
She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left
you the money.
He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would, but you're never there.
She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said....It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make
love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.
He said....Shall we try a different position tonight?
She said...That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart."
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| Posted by Dave Krill on 14-Aug-2005 | The little Indian Man Once upon a time there was a lil' Indian man who was doing
his business on the side of the highway. When he was finished he
got a ride with this man in a large red truck. The man asked the
lil' Indian man some questions and they were on their way. About
5 minutes later the Indian man said he had to go "pee-pee". The
truck driver thought, what a moron, and stopped on the side of
the rode and let the lil' Indian man have his business. He
finished up and loaded back in the large truck and they were
off. About 5 minutes later the Indian man said again, "I gotta
go pee-pee!". The truck driver getting annoyed questioned
himself about picking this Indian man up and let him go have his
business once agian. So he got back on and 5 minutes later the
Indian man again said he had to go piss. The truck driver
getting outraged let the Indian man out and then slammed the
door and took off. He sped up to 20 miles per hour and he saw
the lil' Indian man running along the truck. He thought to
himself, this guy is stranger then he looks. So he slammed his
excellorator and was off at about 40 mph. The Indian man was
still running along the side. 45,50,55.. still there. He got up
to 70 and the lil' Indian man was not slowing down. Confused and
frightened he stopped the truck, opened his door and said, "How
the heck can you run that fast?" The indian man replied, "If you
had you dick stuck in that dang door you'de run that fast too!"
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| Posted by Deborah L. Dallmeyer on 14-Aug-2005 | A gut-wrenching fart storyA man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or
nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any
more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife
decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and
not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night.
He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the
bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey,
you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE
OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN
THERE.
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| Posted by Guillermo Macias on 14-Aug-2005 | My Penis HurtsOne day a tacher went to work and when she got there her class
was already in the room, she noticed a little boy scratching
his Penis Because it Hurt. She said whats going on. He Said my
penis hurts so bad. The teacher said go call your mom. When
the boy got back in the room the teacher wasnt there so he asked
his class mate where she went . When the teacher came back in
the room she seen the boy with his penis out of his pants. She
said what are you doing and he said my mom would come at noon
and she said stick it out till noon.
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