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| Posted by Zildjian_87 on 09-Aug-2005 | Fishing is Better Th* When you go fishin' and you catch something,' that's good. If you're making love and you catch something,' that's bad.
* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither. And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.
* In fishin' you lie about the one that got away. In lovin' you lie about the one you caught.
* You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.
* You don't have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.
* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent nightcrawler. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.
* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishin.
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| Posted by Kim L. Moerschbacher on 09-Aug-2005 | Taking the PlungeThe Swedish Couple were applying for a marriage license. The clerk asked the gentleman his name and he replied, "Yonnie Yohnson". The clerk said, "You're Swedish, aren't you."
The man replied,"Yah".
The clerk asked the lady for her name. She replied, "Olga Olsen". The clerk said, "Oh, you have a little Swede in you, too. The lady replied, "Yah, Yonnie yust couldn't vait."
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| Posted by Stephen W. Gradwell on 09-Aug-2005 | My Wife is Having anPaddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.' His second friend says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.' Paddy says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.' Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. 'No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.'
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| Posted by Amy M. Poh on 09-Aug-2005 | Brigham YoungA woman visiting Salt Lake City in the latter half of the 18th century sees someone that she thinks may be Brigham Young, the leader of the Mormon church.
Woman: "Are you Brigham Young?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young that is the head of the Mormon church?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young that led the Mormons to Utah?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young that denounces all Christian religions as false except Mormonism?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
About this time, the woman is beginning to lose her temper.
Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young who preaches polygamy?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
Now she's really getting mad.
Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young who has 26 wives?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
Then furiously, she says -
Woman: "You ought to be Hung!"
Brigham Young: "I am."
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| Posted by Kallos RaMar on 09-Aug-2005 | The Crying Old ManA ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong.
Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman."
"What's wrong with that?"
asks the young man.
Between the sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You can't understand."
Every morning before she goes to work, we make love... At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favourite meal.
In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best an old man could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love."
He breaks down, no longer able to speak.
The young man puts his arm around him.
"I don't understand. It sounds like you have a perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"
The old man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live."
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| Posted by Sexy_Baby on 09-Aug-2005 | You may be a submissIf you hear the term "House Whip" on CNN and then get disappointed that they're talking about politics.
If a friend of yours tells you she can't get out of the house because she's all tied up....and you get jealous.
If stocks and bonds fascinate you, but you could care less what happens on Wall Street.
If you find yourself lying about your birthday just to get in an extra spanking or two during the course of a year.
If, deep in your mind, you think of tic-tac-toe as a game being played between the X's and The Story of O's.
If you hear a confused person say, "Beat me!" and you automatically yell out "Me next!".
If you think the best part of going to church is getting to kneel. (The same holds true if you make up extra sins at confession so you can get a heavier penance).
If you actually wish your Mastercard would give you orders.
If you think that the three basic materials for bed sheets are linen, silk and leather. (or at the least, kinky in general)
If you call your personal vibrator "Sir".
If you think your panties look best on you when pulled down around your knees.
If you see a road sign displaying, "Chains required" and wonder if that means, whips are optional.
If you read a headline about sub warfare, and picture two naked women cat-fighting over a cute Dom.
If you dream of a beautiful leather jacket with a full face hood.
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