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| Posted by jadelicouse on 09-Aug-2005 | Fishing is betterWhen you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.
Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither and don't want to know how many other fish you caught.
In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.
You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.
You don't have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.
You can catch a fish on a 20 cent nightcrawler. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.
Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Clifton S. Barnes on 09-Aug-2005 | If men got pregnantMaternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.
There'd be a cure for stretch marks.
Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem.
All methods of birth control would be improved to 100 percent effectiveness.
Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.
Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment.
They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.
Fathers would demand that their SONS be home from dates by 10:00pm.
Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags.
They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.
They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.
Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.
Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Manoj Joshi on 09-Aug-2005 | SecretAt a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret
for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Mike G. Strusz on 09-Aug-2005 | Cookie bribesOnce there was this boy who liked this girl. The girl LOVED cookies.
One day, the boy said to the girl "I'll give you five cookies if you come home with me."
She said ok.
As soon as they got home, the boy said to her "I'll give you 15 cookies if you come upstairs into my room with me"
She said ok.
When they got up, the boy said "I'll give you 35 cookies if you lay on the bed with me"
She said ok again.
When they were on the bed, he said "I'll give you 50 cookies if you get naked and dance like a stripper on that pole over there"
Again she said ok.
After she was naked and finished with her dance, he said "I'll give you 100 cookies if you have tear my clothes off with your teeth and have sex with me"
Naturally she said ok.
While they were having sex, the boys parents walked in and said "Hump her, Danny, hump her!" and that's exactly what he did!
Submitted by Admin
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Ben Travis on 09-Aug-2005 | Digging holesA fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his cola, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.
The other man came along behind and filled in the hole.
While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road.
"I can't stand this," said the man, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.
"Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"
"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.
"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"
"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow.
"Normally there's three of us ... me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back.
Now just because Rodney's sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by leilah on 09-Aug-2005 | YesWhat did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover?
"What part of 'yes' don't you understand?"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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