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| Posted by Carla J. Hicks on 09-Aug-2005 | Flat TummyThere was a small boy who was put to bed by his parents. The boy had a nightmare, and got out of bed to go to his parents room. When he got there, he saw mommy bouncing up and down on daddy. When his dad noticed him in the doorway, the kid ran away. The mother got off and got dressed quickly, and went to the boy's room. He was in his bed, and he asked, "Mommy, what were you doing to daddy?"
The mother replied, "Well, your father has noticed his belly getting bigger, and I was just trying to flatten his tummy for him by bouncing on it."
"Oh, that's what you were doing. But you're wasting your time mommy."
The boy said.
"Oh, and why is that?"
The mom asked.
"Because everyday when you leave for work, the neighbor lady comes over, gets on her knees and blows it right back up again.
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| Posted by Jamey Parker on 09-Aug-2005 | What is it?One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand. The teacher says, "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks "is it a giraffe?"
"Very good Sally," the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands.
"See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his hand and says, "It's a zebra."
"Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal.
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses.
"Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."
Little Johnny shouts out, "IS IT A HORNY BASTARD?"
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| Posted by Skye K. German on 09-Aug-2005 | Make BabiesA second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl.
"You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
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| Posted by IOVANA BRITO on 09-Aug-2005 | Sexual SofaAn elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman.
"Is there something in particular I can show you?"
he asked.
"Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa."
"You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested.
"Sectional schmectional," she said shrugging.
"All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!"
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| Posted by SaUcY on 09-Aug-2005 | How about a blow jobA guy walks into a bar already somewhat tipsy. He walks over to the nearest girl and says, "Hey, how 'bout a blowjob?"
She smashes him over the head with her purse. He looks up, dazed, from the floor and says, "Well, I guess a fuck's out of the question."
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| Posted by vixen on 09-Aug-2005 | Man's worst nighQ: What is a man's worst nightmare? A: A hooker with a chipped tooth & the hiccups.
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