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| Posted by K S on 14-Aug-2005 | Funny Quotes I've Collected*Here are some funny quotes I've collected over the school
year... Enjoy!*
"If they call it 'tourist season', why can't you shoot 'em?"
"Little people bite my toes after I go to sleep."
"DISCOURAGE INBREEDING...BAN COUNTRY MUSIC!"
"Go to people's funerals, or they won't go to yours."
"This ain't fucking Disneyland-I don't have to be nice!"
"Happiness is like peeing in your pants... everyone can see it,
but only you can feel its warmth."
"Life is like a dick... When it gets hard, fuck it!"
"West to the sea, East to the land, death to the bitch who
touches my man!"
"You keyhole-squiggin' motha fucker!"
"Single women can't fart... they don't have an asshole until
they're married."
"If a poke is a jab, and an ass is a donkey, then why is a poke
in the ass a goose?"
"Women do not sweat, burp, or fart. Therefore, if we do not
bitch, we will blow up."
"All I need to know about life I learned by killing smart people
and eating their brains."
"Moo... I am the taco cow... hear me roar!"
"What if, instead of hearts, chickens were the universal symbol
of love? Then, on Valentine's Day, would we walk up to people
and say 'I love you with all my chicken'?"
One a tombstone: "I told you I was sick!"
"Join the Army! Travel to exotic places, distant lands. Meet
exciting people, then kill them!"
"The quickest way to a man's heart is not through his stomach,
but through his chest, with an axe."
"The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an
oncoming train."
"Blow your mind- smoke gunpowder."
"I have a fear of clowns. I think it goes back to the time when
I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."
"I want to be like Barbie. That bitch has everything."
"What if the hokey-pokey really was what it's all about?"
"I have P.M.S. and a gun. Excuse me, did you want something?"
"MENtal breakdown. MENstruation. MENopause. MENstrual cramps.
Ever notice how all these problems start with 'MEN'?"
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| Posted by Candy Dee on 14-Aug-2005 | Men and ShitQ: What's the difference between men and a bag full of shit?
A: The bag.
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| Posted by Pat Mcgroyne on 14-Aug-2005 | Woman vs. TornadoWhat does a woman have in common with a tornado?
They scream when they come and they take the house when they leave.
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| Posted by CoCa_CoLa_13 on 14-Aug-2005 | Definition of a Male Chauvinist PigWhat's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.
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| Posted by matt a. conway on 14-Aug-2005 | Men's FightWhy is it that us men fight an kick for 9 months to get out of
women's pussy, and then once we get out, we try to get back in
the rest of our lives?!
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| Posted by thezaniak on 14-Aug-2005 | Making Snowman and SnowwomanWhy does it take longer to make a snowman than it does to make a snowwoman?
Because you gotta take the time to hollow out his head!
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