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| Posted by Martin Riggs on 09-Aug-2005 | Gone fishingA man phones home from his office and tells his wife: "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns.
His wife asks: "Did you have a good trip, dear?"
He says: " Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
His wife smiles and says, "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!"
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| Posted by Paula L. Forza on 09-Aug-2005 | Parot on honeymoonWhen Casey stated he was getting married, his pet parrot was very upset & insisted on going on the honeymoon with the couple. "Okay, okay", his owner agreed to the bird, "You can come along, but I don't want you looking. You gotta promise that you'll look the other way when we're making love...and if you break your promise, you'll get nothing to eat!"
Not wanting to be left at home, the parrot readily agreed.
Before leaving on their honeymoon, Casey & his new bride were packing their suitcases, the man, out of breath, says to his wife, "I can't get it all in honey, you'll have to sit on it."
She says, "No, that won't work, I'll get on top and press down."
"No that's not gonna work, why don't we both get on top?"
It's then that the parrot thinks to himself, "Food or no food...this I GOTTA see!"
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| Posted by BloodAngel on 09-Aug-2005 | Caught in the actA wife arriving home after a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words.
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.
"Then, as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' ....
....So, here we are!"
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| Posted by Frans Lemstra on 09-Aug-2005 | Wife ComparisonsWhat's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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| Posted by Spencer Smith on 09-Aug-2005 | If You Were MineA woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ''If you were my husband I would poison your drink."
The man replied, ''If you were my wife I would drink it.''
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| Posted by Zak on 09-Aug-2005 | Fisherman's TokenTwo fellas are fishing in a boat near a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
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