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| Posted by Chili Dog on 09-Aug-2005 | Hi LadiesA young boy on his way home from school must pass a group of hookers.
Every day as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say 'Hi there, little boy.'
One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies.
She replies, 'Well, that is what size we imagine your penis to be... it is just a joke.'
The next day on his way home, the hookers repeat the tradition. The young boy stops and drops his school books on the ground, sticks all his fingers in his mouth to stretch his lips very wide and says, 'Hi there ladies!'
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| Posted by Yo Mama on 09-Aug-2005 | Chicken FarmerA woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, 'Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions.'
He gets her name, address and social security number and then asks, 'What is your occupation?'
The woman replies, 'I'm a whore.'
The accountant baulks and says, 'No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that.'
The woman says, 'OK, I'm a prostitute.'
'No, that is still too crude. Try again.'
They both think for a minute, then the woman says, 'I'm a chicken farmer.'
The accountant asks, 'What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?'
'Well, I raised over 5000 cocks last year!'
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| Posted by Tom Dunlap on 09-Aug-2005 | CinderellaCinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.
So, as Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
'First, you must wear a diaphragm.'
Cinderella agrees and says, 'What's the second condition?'
'You must be home by 2 am. Any later and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.'
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 am. The appointed hour comes and goes and Cinderella doesn't show up.
Finally, at 5 am, Cinderella shows up looking love struck and very satisfied.
'Where have you been?' demands the fairy godmother. 'Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!'
'I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.'
'I know of no prince with that kind of power. Tell me his name.'
'I can't remember exactly, Peter, Peter, something or other... '
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| Posted by Bruno B. Machado on 09-Aug-2005 | That hard!A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question, but as he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both startled and he says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'
She replies, 'if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221.'
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| Posted by april pe on 09-Aug-2005 | Dentist AppointmentOne night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.
The wife turns over and says,
'I'm sorry honey, but I've got a gynecologist??™s appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
This time he whispers in her ear, 'Do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow too?'
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| Posted by Dano Fiveo on 09-Aug-2005 | Turner BrownA small white guy goes into an elevator and the only other passenger is a huge black dude standing next to him.
The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says, '2.5 m tall, 130 kg, 40 cm dick, 1.5 kg left ball, 1.5 kg right ball, Turner Brown.'
The small white guy faints.
The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy, 'What's wrong?'
The small white guy says, 'Excuse me, but what did you say?'
The big black dude looks down and says, '2.5 m tall, 130 kg, 40 cm dick, 1.5 kg left ball, 1.5 kg right ball, Turner Brown.'
The small white guy says, 'Thank God. I thought you said, "turn around".'
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