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| Posted by Tiki Tiki Bird on 14-Aug-2005 | How often?An older couple had been dating for some time when they decided
to get married.
They dicussed all the nessary issues: living arrangements,
payments, hoildays and of course the big day.
With alot of hesitation the man finally came out with his
question. "what about sex??" he asked hopefully.
The women replied."i would have to say infrequently"
The man replied is that with one word or two??!!
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| Posted by Nicole M. T on 14-Aug-2005 | *~> MaKiNg SaNdWiChEs <~*One night a guy and his girlfriend started getting horny at the
guys house. The guy had to share a room with his little 7 year
old brother and they shared a bunk. He got the top and his
little brother got the bottom. Well they started getting it on,
and one thing led to another and they started to do it. He told
his girlfriend to say lettuce if she wanted it harder, and
tomatoes if she wanted it slower. "Lettuce, tomatoes" she said
"Lettuce, lettuce, tomatoes, lettuce..." she screamed out. Then
his little brother shouted up sleepily, "Can you guys stop
making sandwiches? The mayonnaise is getting all over me!"
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| Posted by Halli on 14-Aug-2005 | my first fuck in the woods Jemma is the best. The best out of all the people I know, the
best
of all the females i know, just simply the best.
We were on holiday, Janice, me and Jemma. We were out in our
small cosy caravan, one night when Janice was fast asleep in her
bed me and Jemma went outside into the woods to have some fun,
we thought it would be better outside incase Janice heard us and
disturbed us.
I rammed jemma hard up against a thick tree, i felt her lovely
soft, tender tits, and licked her wet pussy, she was as excited
as me. when i slowly moved up licking all her body, i shoved my
hard cock up her pussy, i could feel it was wet and warm inside,
i felt her pussy closing on my dick. it was a wonderful feeling.
i was still feeling her beautiful tits, even though they were
very small i still enjoyed every minuet of it. Then jemma pulled
away she walked off as if nothing had happened. i followed her
getting dressed as i walked.
As i said before Jemma is the best, the best i knew, the best
pet id ever had, the best dog EVER.
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| Posted by Emz on 14-Aug-2005 | Wrong holeOne day this man went to Japan. He was with his buddy and his
buddies' girlfriend and he was getting alittle jealous cause he
didn't have a gurl to hang out with. So, he talked to his buddy
about it, and his buddy got him hooked up with a prostitute. She
couldn't speak english, but the gut was like "What the hell!, At
least i'm still getttin' sum!" So the next night he was in the
back of one of the bandwagons fucking her. She kept on screaming
"VIA NO PEEA! VIA NO PEEA!" Now, this guy new nothing about
Japenese, so he figured she was just having this MAJOR orgasm.
The next day, the guy was out playing gulf with his buddy. His
buddy swung the golf club, and hit the ball through a hole in
the tree. He was very frustrated, and started talking in
Japanese. "VIA NO PEEA!" Now, the man reconized that phrase, so
he asked his buddy what it meant. His buddy looked at him and
said "wrong hole".
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| Posted by Aleksandar Pavlovic on 14-Aug-2005 | Making SandwichesAfter going out with his girlfriend for a month, Dave decided he
wanted to sleep with her. Unfortunately he still had to share a
room with his 9 year old brother Jonny. One night, he waited for
Jonny to fall asleep then he rang his girlfriend and asked her
to come over. Quietly they climbed onto the top bunk of the
boys' bed and started to get undressed. After a few moments,
Dave realised that they would have to make up some sort of code
for what they wanted each other to do if they didn't want Jonny
to hear them. Eventually they settled for "Lettuce" meaning
Harder, and "Tomato" meaning Change Position. Soon they began to
get into a rhythm.
LETTUCE!
TOMATO!
LETTUCE!
LETTUCE!
TOMATO!
OH WAIT! PULL IT OUT, PULL IT OUT!
I CAN'T GET PREGNANT!
Then suddenly quick as a flash, Jonny sat up and screamed at
them, "Can you two PLEASE stop making sandwiches?! You're
getting mayonaise all over my face!"
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| Posted by pager on 14-Aug-2005 | Dinner at Boyfriends houseCara was very excited abut going to her bf's house for dinner,
although the night she had to go she got very ill. She still
went.
In the middle of dinner she excused herself to go to the
bathroom, so she went upstairs. closed the door, and she
couldn't stop going!!
When she was done it was so big the toilet couldn't flush!!
So she picked it up with her hands and threw it out the window.
After washing her hands for a full 10 min. she went back
downstairs.
Everybody was staring at her, and she asked what happened?
Her boyfriend pointed up...her waste fell onto the skylight.
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