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| Posted by Mike Carlino on 14-Aug-2005 | How to Choose a WifeThere is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one
to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them
spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets
new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the
man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you
so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought
these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles
her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She
says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love
you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money,
and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.
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| Posted by BLitz on 14-Aug-2005 | The 3 VikingsOle, Larse, and Sven were sitting in a bar discussing their
wives. Larse started by saying, "I think my wife is fooling
around on me. I went home the other day and found a hammer and a
saw under our bed. I think she is screwing a carpenter."
Sven answered, "Ya, I think my wife is not faithful either. The
other day I went home and found a pipe wrench and some pipes
under my bed. I think she is screwing a plumber."
Ole then joins in and says, "Vel, if you think that is bad, I've
got one for ya. I vent home yesterday and found a cowboy under
my bed. I think that Lina is screwing a horse!"
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| Posted by Wei Gu on 08-Aug-2005 | Sign LanguageA couple is doing yard work and the wife goes to take a shower. her husband is looking for a rake and can't find it. He yells up to his wife, 'Where's the rake?'
She replies by shaking her head like she can't hear. So he points to his eye (I), hits his knee (need), then makes raking motions.
She replies by; pointing to her eye , grabbing her left breast slaps her ass, then rubs her crotch.
He runs up stairs and says, 'What?'
She says, 'I left tit behind the bush.'
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| Posted by Bruce R. Wood on 14-Aug-2005 | DivorceA man and his wife are driving on the highway. Suddenly the wife
starts talking, "I want a divorce. I want the kids, the house,
the car, and the money." The man doesn't say a thing and drives
faster and faster. At top speed the women askes him, "What do
you want to have?" The man answers, "Nothing, I've got all I
need, 'cause I got the airbags!"
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| Posted by jen on 13-Aug-2005 | Trainsexcouple where travaling in train .
they wanted to have sex .so they made codes
todo.
to insert-pepsi .
to take out-coca cola.
at night they started pepsi-cocacola.........
then the old man sleeping down wake up
and said pepsi coco cola is alright dont through pepsi on me.
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():love jokes (2491): Swapping Wife for Season Ticket |
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| Posted by Caitlin l. Lopez on 14-Aug-2005 | Swapping Wife for Season TicketCarol was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed
in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to
this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is
offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Carol said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Carol said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.
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