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| Posted by S W on 14-Aug-2005 | Joyous Bells There were 10 priests who had died around the same time,
and God, to test their loyalty, had tied bells to each of the 10
priests wangs and make each watch pornography (in case you
didn't know, priests are not supposed to want any sexual
relations with anyone). If one was to get a boner, the bell
would ring, and
he would be sent to hell.
As each priest went one by one, no bells rang, until the
last priest was put to the test. Boy was that bell ringin and
immediately God had pulled the priest out and scolded at him,
telling him how he was not loyal. In nervousness the priest's
bell had fallen, "Pick up your bell now!" yelled God, and as the
priest bent over to pick up his bell, 9 bells rang...
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| Posted by Jose on 14-Aug-2005 | Ol' Kelly the CookA traveling salesman stops for the night in a tiny town. He is
feeling unbelievably horny, so he goes to the local bar to scope
out to local females. When he gets there he finds that there are
no women in the bar, and after a few drinks no women have come
in. Come to think of it, he can't remember seeing any women in
the entire town. So he asks the bartender where he can find some
women.
"Sorry," the bartender replies, "there aren't any women in this
town, only ol' Kelly cook, out back"
"Hey, I'm not like that!" shouts the man, slightly offended.
After a few more drinks he is feeling even hornier, and once
again pleads with the bartender about where he can find some
women.
"Sorry," the bartender replies, "there aren't any women in this
town, only ol' Kelly cook, out back."
"I already told you, I'm not like that!"
The man sucks down a few more drinks and, now slightly drunk and
incredibly horny, says to the bartender, "Com' on, there's GOT
to be some women in this town. I've got money, I can pay for
one."
"I'm sorry," the bartender replies again, "there aren't any
women in this town, only ol' Kelly cook, out back"
"I'M NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!" he screams, but, overcome with
horniness the man turns back to the bartender and concedes,
"alright! How do I get to ol' Kelly the cook?"
"Okay, go out back," the bartender explains. Pointing towards
two large men he continues, "Joe and Bruno here will bring out
ol' Kelly the cook."
"What are Joe and Bruno for?" asks the man, confused.
"They're to hold him down. Ol' Kelly the cook isn't like that
either."
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| Posted by Jay Jay on 14-Aug-2005 | Cause of Lesbian DeathsWhat is the most common death of lesbians?
Hairballs.
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| Posted by Ashley Barth on 14-Aug-2005 | Players Trip To PlaytownThere is a player named Shaun. He goes from country to country
to find the best sex. He seeks his adventure in Germany and goes
to a German town named Playtown. Supposedly, he heard that the
best sex goes in this town, so he's eager to go.
Since prostitution is legal in Germany, he goes up to the
counter and explains his "pimpin adventure." The clerk smiles
and says, "You can only stay for 3 nights, and you can only pick
3 rooms out of 10. One room per night. But remember, don't go to
Room Number 1. And when you are done, come on down and tell me
about it." And with that, he gives Shaun the 10 keys.
Shaun goes to Room Number 9 and does that ho bad. The next
morning he goes down and says that that was one of the best sex
acts he has ever done. The clerk smiles and reminds him again to
stay out of Room Number 1.
The next night, Shaun has a better ho and a better time in Room
Number 3 then he did at Room Number 9. He goes back down and
tells the clerk that he had so much fun and it felt so good he
wants the same girl again. But the clerk said that one girl one
time is enough. And he reminded Shaun that one night was left,
and to stay out of Room Number 1.
Shaun walks down the hall and passes Room Number 1. He looks
around and says, "What the hell, I already had the best sex I'll
ever get." and with that, he walks into the room. He looks
around, a typical hotel room. 2 beds, a bathroom, a closet and a
desk. He then notices the hole in the wall with hair coming out.
He says, "Ok, whatever" and he goes up and humps the hole.
The next morning, he goes in to turn in the keys and the clerk
says, "....and...?" and Shaun says, "Oh, yeah, it was great...."
and the clerk asks, "You didn't go to Room Number 1, did you?".
Shaun says, "No I wasn't..." and then this guy stroking his big
black beard said, ".....oh yes he diiiiiiiiid!"
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| Posted by BILLY B. PLOTTER on 14-Aug-2005 | gay mans barbuqueWhy shouldnt u go 2 a gay mans barbuque?
coz the sausages will taste of shit
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| Posted by usher on 14-Aug-2005 | PoofOne day in heaven three guys (a nimphomanic, a rich guy, and a
gay guy) walk up to god and tell him that they wanted another
chance back on earth. God thought about it and told them he
would give them a another chance but there were things that they
would have 2 give up when they got to earth. They said sure
whatever it takes.
To the nimpho god said,"you have 2 give up sex."
Not to happy the guy says,"sure i can do that."
To the rich guy god says,"you have to give up money."
Not to happy he replys,"sure i can do that."
To the gay guy god says,"you have to give up having sex with
guys."
Very upset he replys,"sure i can do that."
God says,"now if u disobey me and do everything i told u to give
up you will come right back to me forever.
The guys are not worried about it and with confidence they all
say that they can do it. They could do anything to walk the
earth again.
So then god sends them to earth.
When they get down to earth they are really happy and decide to
walk together down the street.
As they are walking down the street the nimpho takes notice to a
very hot girl walking across the street. He decides to go talk
to her because god said he just couldnt have sex, but when he
was talkin to her he couldnt take it and got her into a hotel
room got her clothes of and poof... he was gone.
The rich guy and gay guy are still walkin and they come across a
$100 bill. He tries to ignore it but he cant. So he bends over
and grabs the $100 bill and poof...poof...
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