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| Posted by Basil F. Cadbury on 14-Aug-2005 | Lesbian JokesWhat do you call 2 lesbians trapped in a cabinet....
A licker cabinet
What is the difference between a wheat thin and a lesbian....
one is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker
How do you hold your liquer....
by the ears
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| Posted by Shane Gonz on 14-Aug-2005 | bob goes to heveanOne day Bob, the only gay man to ever die went to hevan. st.
peter had a line of 3 people. so he said he would only let the
best person in.
the first man in line said that he was a preist and donated 50%
of his money to charity and helped out at homeless shelters
every week.
the second man said that he was police man that saved at least
200 peoples lives and work overtime for no pay at all and he
donated 30,000 dallors to cahrity a year.
bob said he was a gay man who was a ceo of a company and he only
donated 10 dallors a year even though he had millons.
St. peter let bob into hevean. the 2 other men were very angry.
the ask st peter why he had let bob, for they were both much
much better than bob.
St. peter said " bob is the first gay man to die. i have been
waiting for a gay man to die for 1000s of years. im getting a
little horny.
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| Posted by S W on 14-Aug-2005 | Joyous Bells There were 10 priests who had died around the same time,
and God, to test their loyalty, had tied bells to each of the 10
priests wangs and make each watch pornography (in case you
didn't know, priests are not supposed to want any sexual
relations with anyone). If one was to get a boner, the bell
would ring, and
he would be sent to hell.
As each priest went one by one, no bells rang, until the
last priest was put to the test. Boy was that bell ringin and
immediately God had pulled the priest out and scolded at him,
telling him how he was not loyal. In nervousness the priest's
bell had fallen, "Pick up your bell now!" yelled God, and as the
priest bent over to pick up his bell, 9 bells rang...
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| Posted by Jose on 14-Aug-2005 | Ol' Kelly the CookA traveling salesman stops for the night in a tiny town. He is
feeling unbelievably horny, so he goes to the local bar to scope
out to local females. When he gets there he finds that there are
no women in the bar, and after a few drinks no women have come
in. Come to think of it, he can't remember seeing any women in
the entire town. So he asks the bartender where he can find some
women.
"Sorry," the bartender replies, "there aren't any women in this
town, only ol' Kelly cook, out back"
"Hey, I'm not like that!" shouts the man, slightly offended.
After a few more drinks he is feeling even hornier, and once
again pleads with the bartender about where he can find some
women.
"Sorry," the bartender replies, "there aren't any women in this
town, only ol' Kelly cook, out back."
"I already told you, I'm not like that!"
The man sucks down a few more drinks and, now slightly drunk and
incredibly horny, says to the bartender, "Com' on, there's GOT
to be some women in this town. I've got money, I can pay for
one."
"I'm sorry," the bartender replies again, "there aren't any
women in this town, only ol' Kelly cook, out back"
"I'M NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!" he screams, but, overcome with
horniness the man turns back to the bartender and concedes,
"alright! How do I get to ol' Kelly the cook?"
"Okay, go out back," the bartender explains. Pointing towards
two large men he continues, "Joe and Bruno here will bring out
ol' Kelly the cook."
"What are Joe and Bruno for?" asks the man, confused.
"They're to hold him down. Ol' Kelly the cook isn't like that
either."
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| Posted by Jay Jay on 14-Aug-2005 | Cause of Lesbian DeathsWhat is the most common death of lesbians?
Hairballs.
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| Posted by Ashley Barth on 14-Aug-2005 | Players Trip To PlaytownThere is a player named Shaun. He goes from country to country
to find the best sex. He seeks his adventure in Germany and goes
to a German town named Playtown. Supposedly, he heard that the
best sex goes in this town, so he's eager to go.
Since prostitution is legal in Germany, he goes up to the
counter and explains his "pimpin adventure." The clerk smiles
and says, "You can only stay for 3 nights, and you can only pick
3 rooms out of 10. One room per night. But remember, don't go to
Room Number 1. And when you are done, come on down and tell me
about it." And with that, he gives Shaun the 10 keys.
Shaun goes to Room Number 9 and does that ho bad. The next
morning he goes down and says that that was one of the best sex
acts he has ever done. The clerk smiles and reminds him again to
stay out of Room Number 1.
The next night, Shaun has a better ho and a better time in Room
Number 3 then he did at Room Number 9. He goes back down and
tells the clerk that he had so much fun and it felt so good he
wants the same girl again. But the clerk said that one girl one
time is enough. And he reminded Shaun that one night was left,
and to stay out of Room Number 1.
Shaun walks down the hall and passes Room Number 1. He looks
around and says, "What the hell, I already had the best sex I'll
ever get." and with that, he walks into the room. He looks
around, a typical hotel room. 2 beds, a bathroom, a closet and a
desk. He then notices the hole in the wall with hair coming out.
He says, "Ok, whatever" and he goes up and humps the hole.
The next morning, he goes in to turn in the keys and the clerk
says, "....and...?" and Shaun says, "Oh, yeah, it was great...."
and the clerk asks, "You didn't go to Room Number 1, did you?".
Shaun says, "No I wasn't..." and then this guy stroking his big
black beard said, ".....oh yes he diiiiiiiiid!"
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