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Literal Bitch!

Three guys are in a bar discussing how much their wives bitch at them.

They decide that when they get home, they'll do everything that the women ask.

The next weekend, they are in the same bar.

The first guy says, "Man, I don't think that our idea was so great! I was sitting on the couch watching TV and I dropped my cigarette on the couch. My wife said, 'Why don't you burn the whole house down?' That place is still smoldering."

The second guy said, "That ain't nothing. I was working on the car, and dropped my wrench and it nicked the fender. My wife said, 'Why don't you tear the whole car apart?' It took me all night."

The third guy said, "You guys don't have nothing on me. When I walked in the door, my wife was doing the dishes, and I felt a little romantic. I reached down, and grabbed her crotch, she said, 'Cut that out!'"

He held out his hands. "Ever seen one of these real close?"

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown

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	():dirty jokes (1575): Little Boy On Nude Beach

Posted by Tony C. Weston on 12-Aug-2005

Little Boy On Nude Beach

A Family, a boy and his parents went to a nude beach while they were on holiday.

The little boy was building sandcastles when he noticed some women had bigger boobs than his mum. Confused he went to his mum, \"Mummy mummy, why do some women have bigger boobs than you?\" His mum laughed and replied \"Honey, the bigger boobs they have, the dumber they are\"

Please with the answer the little boy carried on building sandcastles, when he noticed some men had bigger willy\'s than his dad. Confused he went to his dad, \"Daddy, daddy, why do some men have bigger willys than you?\" His dad laughed and replied \"Son, the bigger the willy, the dumber the guy\"

Later the boy said to his mum \"Mummy, Daddy was talking to the DUMBEST girl on the beach, and the more he spoke the dumber he got\"

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	():dirty jokes (1575): Micheal jakson

Posted by Mike A. Rotch on 13-Aug-2005

Micheal jakson

why did micheal jackson and squirel cross the road and go back?

they both forgot their NUTS!!

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	():dirty jokes (1575): Mrs. Coutier's first grade class was learning...

Posted by alison robichaux on 07-Aug-2005

Mrs. Coutier's first grade class was learning...

Mrs. Coutier's first grade class was learning about rhyming, and was told to make up a short rhyme. Pierre came up with:

In the pond I make duck calls
I was wet up to my calves.

"Oh Pierre," she said, " you didn't understand at all. 'Calls' doesn't rhyme with 'calves'."

"It's not my fault if there wasn't enough water."

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	():dirty jokes (1575): Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts...

Posted by shadowarrior shadow on 07-Aug-2005

Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts...

Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts with two of their herd simultaneously. One turns to the other, disgustedly, and says,

"I hear they're doing this to women in Chicago!"

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	():dirty jokes (1575): A man walks past an outhouse and hears someone...

Posted by Brian C. Kaase on 07-Aug-2005

A man walks past an outhouse and hears someone...

A man walks past an outhouse and hears someone call out, "HELP, HELP, HELP!"

So he walks inside the outhouse and hears the call again, "HELP, HELP!" Then he looks into the hole and sees an indian there. The man said to the indian, "How long have you been down there?"

The reply was, "Many moons have passed by.

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