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():gender jokes (1878): MEN: Please Read Rules Before Proceding |
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| Posted by Meme_2000 on 14-Aug-2005 | MEN: Please Read Rules Before Proceding1. Please do not talk to my breast. You won't be meeting them.
2. If you want to control someone sleep with your remote.
3. I always choose chocolate over men-always.
4. 51% love goddess 49% bitch.
5. My sexual preference is NO.
6. MY body is a temple, now get on your knees and pray.
7. It's not the size that counts, it's... no, wait, size does
count.
8. Rrmember you horny peice of dirt, girls are made of sugar,
spice, and everything nace.
9. Men are like hardware floors, lay them right the first time
and you can walk all over them forever.
10. Save your breath for your inflatable date.
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| Posted by _Bambi_ on 14-Aug-2005 | Woman vs. HurricaneWhat does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
When they cum they're wet and wild. And when they leave, they take your
house and your car.
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| Posted by Korvak on 14-Aug-2005 | Ten types of boyfriendsTHE 10 TYPES OF BOYFRIENDS
------------------------------
Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?" Also known as:
Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup.
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts.
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy.
Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay
home and watch TV."
Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow
Mover, Jerk.
Advantages: Stays put; predictable.
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the butt.
Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you.
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled.
Disadvantages: Easily spooked, surrenders without a struggle.
Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'."
Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n'
Dumb.
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled.
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig.
Lazybones - "Zzzzzz"
Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict.
Advantages: Well rested; easy target.
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams.
The Sneak - "Who, me?"
Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch.
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt.
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life.
Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed
weasels, OK?"
Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster.
Advantages: Perpetually aroused.
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused.
The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how,
but--"
Also known as: Struggling artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind, Fool.
Advantages: Tells good stories.
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus."
Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like
crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?"
Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy.
Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer.
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction.
Mr. Prez
Let's do it in the Oval Office. Let's do it in the war room
Also known as Slick Willy, the Presidential Erection, The Commander in
briefs, The Secret Servicer, The Pocket Veto and The Executive Branch
Advantages: Fun games such as swallow the Leader.
Think of the book rights and speaking fees
I'll never have to do one of those
American Express commercials "Who Am I"
Disadvantages: Those darn perjury charges
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| Posted by Wesley Allen on 14-Aug-2005 | HemmorhoidsWhy don't men have hemorrhoids?
Because when God created man, he created the perfect asshole.
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| Posted by Damian Pacecca on 14-Aug-2005 | The pink limosineTwo kids in a tree house both pull down there pants both
opposite sex each ask what each other what there genitals are
but none of them know so that night each of the chidern asked
there parents what they had the boy asked his mom ,his mom said
ow that is the pink limosine when you grow up one day you will
park in the black cave.
At the girls house the same thing was going on but she asked
her dad she said dad I was wonddering whats between my crouch
her dad said exitedly thats your black cave when your older the
pink limosine will park in you.
So the next day they went back to the treehouse and they
both pulled down there pants again and told each other what they
had when the girl came home all bloody later her mom ask what
happened she said well it goes like this a pink limosine tried
to park in me so I tore off its back wheels.
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():gender jokes (1878): Smartest Thing out of a Woman's Mouth |
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| Posted by zach bennett on 14-Aug-2005 | Smartest Thing out of a Woman's MouthWhat was the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's dick.
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