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| Posted by Lisa S. Shn on 14-Aug-2005 | Milking MachineThere was this lucky farmer married to a beautiful woman. And
they had kids, a farm, and lots of cows. After some years the
number of cows became so big that they couldn't milk them by
hand so they bought an electrical milking machine that fills a
bucket with milk in five minutes...
Sometime later his wife takes the kids and goes to visit her
parents. The poor man is so horney he can't wait for his wife so
he starts jerking off every night. One night he thinks to use
the milking machine instead of his hand. So without thinking
anymore he puts his dick inside the machine and turns it on. Oh
god... what a machine. When he is done, all happy, he tries to
take his dick out but it was stuck inside the machine. He tries
and tries but can't take it out. Suddenly he gets an idea; why
not call the vendor of the machine. So he carries the machine on
his back and goes to the phone....
Farmer: Excuse me sir for calling you up at this late time but I
have a big problem. I'm so ashamed of myself but I did it.
Vendor: Did what?!
Farmer: Since my wife has been to her parents for more than a
week I, I put my dick in the milking machine, but now I can't
take my dick out. Its stuck.
Vendor: Oh, boy. I'm sorry but you can't get it out unless the
bucket is full.
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():sex jokes (1888): Bob's First Experience in the Whore House |
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| Posted by Harry Bloggs on 14-Aug-2005 | Bob's First Experience in the Whore HouseBob walked in to a whore house and asked the guy behind the
counter, "I want to fuck a woman." The pimp asked, "Do you have
any experience?" Bob replied, "No." So the pimp said, "Go stick
your dick in that big oak tree outside."
About five minutes later the pimp heard a holler from Bob, but
he thought nothing of it.
The next day Bob returned and said, "I want to fuck a woman."
The pimp asked, "Do you have any experience?" Bob replied, "Yes,
the big oak tree outside." The pimp collected $100 from Bob and
said, "Go down the hallway to the last door on the left-hand
side."
A few minutes went by and the pimp heard a lady scream from the
room that Bob entered. He ran down the hall and kicked open the
door. There he saw Bob sticking a broom handle in the
prostitute's pussy. The pimped asked, "What the hell are you
doing?!" Bob replied, "Checking for bees!"
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| Posted by Mel S on 14-Aug-2005 | Soft and Mushy ...What goes IN hard and pink and comes OUT soft and mushy??
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Bubble gum .... whate else WOULD it be???
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| Posted by Randi G. Upchurch on 14-Aug-2005 | the midget and the manone day, a midget walked on an elevator to see a very tall man
on it. the man immediateyl started talking and said, " im 7 feet
tall, 300 lbs, my penis is 20 inches long, each testicle weighs
30 lbs, and my name is turner brown." after hearing this, the
midget faints. once he wakes up, the man asks him what happened,
the midget says," what did you say?" so the man starts to
explain it again. "im 7 feet tall, 300 lbs, my penis is 20
inches, my testicles weigh 30 lbs each and my name is turner
brown." the midget is releaved. " oh ok," says the midget, " i
thought you said TURN AROUND.
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| Posted by Chris Gyorkos on 14-Aug-2005 | The Cliff
Three guys (Mike, Kyle, and John) heard about a cliff. The
rumor was that if you jump off it and say something, whatever
you say, you land in safely. Mike, Kyle, and John go to the
cliff. Mike jumps and yells, "gold!!"
He lands safely in gold and takes it all home. Klye jumps and
yells, "1000 beautiful, horny, naked girls!!" He lands in the
women and leaves. John trips and yells, "oh, crap!!" John lands
in a big pile of poop and leaves to go take a shower.
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| Posted by Kenneth Tai on 14-Aug-2005 | Pearl Harbor
ok, so a guy says to a girl:
"Wanna play Pearl Harbor? That's where I lie back as you blow
the hell out of me."
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