Mrs. Coutier's first grade class was learning...

In the pond I make duck calls
I was wet up to my calves.

"Oh Pierre," she said, " you didn't understand at all. 'Calls' doesn't rhyme with 'calves'."

"It's not my fault if there wasn't enough water."

Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts...

"I hear they're doing this to women in Chicago!"

A man walks past an outhouse and hears someone...

So he walks inside the outhouse and hears the call again, "HELP, HELP!" Then he looks into the hole and sees an indian there. The man said to the indian, "How long have you been down there?"

The reply was, "Many moons have passed by.

A guy goes to the doctor. In a very low and...

The doctor examines him and says, "Your problem is the size of your penis. It's so big and heavy, it's pulling down on your vocal cords."

"What can be done to help me?"

"We can carry out a penial transplant. We replace your organ with a lighter one. It's a perfectly safe routine."

The guy agrees and the operation is performed.

A few weeks later he returns and says in a normal voice, "Doctor, you've got to put me back the way I was before. Now I don't satisfy my wife."

The doctor replies, "Sorry, too late" in a deep and growly voice.

While revenge may consist of seducing your...

A man and his girlfriend finally decided to...

While at the altar the man whispered to his bride, "I'm really nervous about tonight. There's something I have to tell you, and you're going to be upset."

The bride smiled and assured him, "I love you. Whatever it is, we'll work it out."

So he whisperd, "I'm hung like a baby."

Again she smiles and tells him it will be fine.

So when they get to the hotel room that night, the man reluctantly strips and turns to face his wife. She takes one look at him and faints dead away. In a panic he revives her and says, "I told you I was hung like a baby! 8 pounds, 9 ounces, and 22 inches."