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| Posted by Harry Bloggs on 10-Aug-2005 | Mutual orgasmsQ: What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
A: An insurance company.
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| Posted by FrUiT LoOpS on 10-Aug-2005 | Observing the babyOne night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently
she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his
face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment,
skepticism.
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes
glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.
??? A penny for your thoughts," she said.
??? It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib
like that for only $46.50."
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| Posted by ashley m. corrado on 10-Aug-2005 | Things men wish women knew part 11. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
3. Don't make us guess.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship???.
7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different; it's just like every other
cat.
8. Dogs are better than cats.
9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.
10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12. You have enough clothes.
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| Posted by elleya on 10-Aug-2005 | Things men wish women knew part 325. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
27. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank
range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
29. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
30. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
31. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty
you are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not
both.
35. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to
complain about having their boobs stared at.
36. Don't make 50 rules when 36 will do.
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| Posted by Chelsea on 10-Aug-2005 | Kiss assThere was a married couple that was in a terrible accident. The woman's face
was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin
from her body because she was so thin. The husband then donated some of his
skin.
However, the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks.
The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all this was a
very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new
beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All her friends and
relatives just ranted and raved at her youthful beauty.
She was alone with her husband one day, and she wanted to thank him for what
he did. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
There is no way I could ever repay you."
The husband replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey. I get plenty thanks enough every
time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!"
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| Posted by Meg B on 10-Aug-2005 | Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing
geek in "Deliverance???.)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever
laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (I'm waiting for a rich Sugar
daddy.)
6. I've got a boyfriend. (I've got a vibrator.)
5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you
were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling
as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate. (One look at you and I'm ready to swear off men altogether.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually
means)
1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in
excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.)
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