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():love jokes (2491): Swapping Wife for Season Ticket |
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| Posted by Caitlin l. Lopez on 14-Aug-2005 | Swapping Wife for Season TicketCarol was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed
in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to
this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is
offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Carol said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Carol said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.
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| Posted by Amy M. Poh on 14-Aug-2005 | How's My Cat?Jim asked his friend Terri if he would watch his cat while he's
on vacation. "Not a problem." Terri says. One day after his
vacation starts Jim calls Terri to see how his cat is doing.
Terri tells him the cat died.
Jim goes beserk, "Why on the first day of my vacation do you
tell me my cat died. You could have said she was missing, then
the next time I call you could of said she was in the tree but
you couldn't get her down. Then when I call again you could say
she is on the roof and you're trying to coax her down. Then the
next time I call tell me she fell off the roof and died. This
way I could enjoy my vacation while you strung me along about
the condition of my cat. Is there anything else I should know?"
Terri replies, "Yeah, your mom is up on the roof. Follow this up
with a nice rim shot!"
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| Posted by stuart g. west on 14-Aug-2005 | Pack for Fishing TripA man called his wife from work one Friday afternoon and told
her to pack his bags for a fishing trip. He told her that he and
some guys from work were going fishing for the weekend. "Pack
some clothes, get out my fishing poles and tackle box, and don't
forget my blue silk pajamas," he explained to her. The wife
agreed and when he got home he picked up his stuff and said
goodbye.
Sunday night the man returned home and his wife asked, "How was
your fishing trip?" The man responded, "It was great but you
forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas!" "No I didn't," she
replied, "I put them in your tackle box!"
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| Posted by Jason Bassett on 14-Aug-2005 | Going OutMy parents had not been out together in quite some time. One
Saturday, as mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father
stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he
asked.
Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes,
I'd love to!"
They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of the
evening that Dad finally confessed that his question had
actually been directed to the family dog, laying near mom's feet
on the kitchen floor.
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| Posted by disco duck on 14-Aug-2005 | Daitng rules Kalie and Zoes rules of dating.
Before getting together
1. Make your feelings clear, once you've made a statement of
this, do NOT change your mind or screw the person about.
2. You are not allowed to say I love you and then a week later
say no i dont, if youre not sure whether the feelings will last
dont say it in the first place.
3. Confide only in close friends that you can trust, so that if
it gets out about who you fancy/love neither of you is
embarrased.
4. Do not go further with a person and say that you think a
relationship will come of it, and then when stuff has happenned
say you dont want a relationship with the person in question.
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| Posted by HappyFunnyBanana on 14-Aug-2005 | Creative Datingthings to do on dates...
swing on swings
people-watch while walking around
watch UFOs
drive around and look at houses in ritzy neighborhoods
paint a mural on your bedroom wall
jump in leaf piles
go on mysterious double dates
have a water fight
have a food fight
visit caves
go creeking
play frisbee golf
play mud volleyball
play childrens games
imitate animals and try to guess them
clean out a closet together
be a counselor for a day camp
go to open houses and act interested in buying
create a scavenger hunt for one another
plan any random act of kindness
make a time capsule
make chocolate covered brussel sprouts
see a laser light show at the science center
go to garage sales and buy weird things
buy a dozen carnations and randomly give them to people
feed each other ice cream
play with "play-doh"
blow bubbles
make a silly video
throw a walleyball party
attend a murder mystery dinner
plan a murder mystery dinner and invite close friends as
suspects/victims
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