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| Posted by jintro d. s on 14-Aug-2005 | Three RoostersOne day there were three roosters sitting on a roof
It was 6:30 in the morning and it was time for the roosters to
wake up the town.
The first rooster, who was straight, yelled, "Cockle dooodle
doo!!"
The second rooster, who was retarded, yelled, "Doodle doodle
cock!"
And the third rooster, who was gay, yelled, "Any cock will do!!!"
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| Posted by mat henderson on 14-Aug-2005 | Pastor SchoolThere were these 12 guys that were going to school to become
priests, and they were almost to the point of passing the class.
There was only one step left: they had to learn to resist
temptation. The teacher brings them to a dark room with no
windows, tells them to get naked, and they have to tie bells
around their penis'.
The teacher brings in a naked dancing girl, and tells them, if
you're bell rings, you haven't yet learned to resist temptation,
so you'll be kicked out of this school.
The girl starts dancing, and one guy's bell just starts ringing
like crazy. It rings so hard that it falls completly off. He
takes two steps forward, bends down, and 11 other bells go off.
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| Posted by Darnitol on 14-Aug-2005 | The Deer HunterA deer hunter was hunting in West Virginia one sunny afternoon,
and after getting a kill, proceeded to drag the deer back to his
vehicle. On his way, he was stopped by a redneck game warden.
"Boy, I see you got you one of them deer today! But, I'm afraid
I have to check your license and make sure you're on the
up-and-up." So the man produces a valid license and upon it's
return, proceeds towards his vehicle.
"Hold up, boy" says the warden, "I still gotta check that deer
there." Puzzled and confused, the hunter stops. The warden then
steps up to the deer, shoves his finger up the deer's ass, takes
it out and sniffs it. "Boy, I hate to tell you this, but this
deer is from Virginia and your license is from West Virgina...do
you have a Virginia license?" As luck would have it, the hunter
had one from the week before and showed it to the warden.
The next week, the same hunter got another kill and was headed
back to his vehicle. The same redneck warden stops him and asks
for a license. Once again, the hunter produces the license and
was once again told that the warden needed to check the deer.
The warden shoves his finger up the deer's ass, takes it out and
sniffs it. "Boy, this here buck is from Georgia...do you have a
license from Georgia?" As luck would have it, he did have one in
his glove box and showed it to the warden.
The next week, the same thing happened with deer and licenses
being from Tennessee, South Carolina and Alabama. Finally, after
the Alabama deer, the warden asks the hunter..."Son, you got
licenses from practically every state in the south...where are
you from anyway?" With that, the hunter drops his pants, bends
over and says..."Why don't you tell me?"
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| Posted by Matt L. Giardina on 14-Aug-2005 | The Facts of LifeThere was a little boy who walked onto a public bus . The little
boy started raving on and on about the facts of life to the bus
driver .
He said "if my daddy were a bull and my mommy were a cow I'd be
a little bull . If my daddy was a monkey and my mommy was a
monkey I'd be a little monkey .If my daddy were a fish and my
mommy were a ..." when all of the sudden the bus driver got so
angered that he pulled the bus off the road and said to the boy
" what if your mommy was a prostatute and your daddy was
gay".The boy thinks for a momment and then states in a cute
little voice "I'd be a bus driver".
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| Posted by Will F. Murray on 14-Aug-2005 | Can DriveA man was sitting in a bar one night and every time he took a
drink of beer he spit it out and said, "Damn, that
Son-of-a-bitch can drive." After doing this for 3 beers the
bartender asked, "How come everytime you take a drink of beer,
you spit it out and say, 'Damn, that son-of-a-bitch can drive?'"
"I was hitchhiking tonight on a dark and curvy road, and a
trucker picked me up. As we were going down the dark and curvy
mountain road, we came to a one lane bridge with 4 cars coming
the other way. I told him, 'If you get us out of this alive, I
will give you the best damn blow job you've ever had!'" The guy
took another drink of beer, spit it out, and said, "Damn, that
son-of-a-bitch can drive."
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| Posted by Noppong Suwanvet on 14-Aug-2005 | Perfect manThe perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on to you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
To hell with this endless poem
The perfect man is gay.
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