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| Posted by Austin Garrison on 13-Aug-2005 | Too much boozeEverynight I have been drinking lately, I have wound up drinking so much I end up blowing chunks....I need to lock that poor dog up before I start drinking next time!
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| Posted by keri kirkles on 13-Aug-2005 | Fuck me babyfuck me baby girl.
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| Posted by leanna on 14-Aug-2005 | All the wayYesterday, i went all the way, not with my girl friend but with
a girl that i never meet. She was very nice, very cute but a
very nasty person. She told me that the only way we would have
sex is that if i meet her parents. So i agreed... we went to her
dads house. It was ok but not the best after we got back form
her dads house, we did it so that is how we had sex. haha
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| Posted by kittilov on 14-Aug-2005 | The ChoiceThere was a newlywed couple, but they didn't get to have their
honeymoon. So one day, the wife asked her husband if they could
have a honeymoon that weekend. The husband said that he
couldn't because he had a fox hunt to go to that weekend. This
made the wife sad, so the husband gave her three choices to
choose from. 1. go with him on the fox hunt, 2. give him a blow
job, or 3. he gets to do her in the ass. So she thought about
it, and on the morning of the fox hunt, the husband asked her if
she made a choice. She replied no, so the the husband told her
to have a choice when he came back from getting the dogs ready
for the hunt. She said ok. He came back and asked for her
choice. She choose #2. She got in the position, and started to
smell something funny. She asked what that smell was. The
husband replied, "oh, the dogs didn't want to go, they choose
#3!"
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| Posted by Nate M. F on 14-Aug-2005 | Not worth the MoneyThere once was a thirty-five year old man named Kevin. He
decided that he was fed up with his work so he quit and traveled
around the world. After a month he ended up in a small town in
the middle of nowhere. There he discovered he was almost out of
money and all his credit cards were maxed out. With nowhere to
go and nothing to do, Kevin ended up wandering around the town.
He walked by a loud bar with men inside hollering and hooting,
just like any other bar in town. Kevin was about to continue
when he noticed a large container filled with money on the
counter. Curious, he wandered in and made his way up to the
bartender.
"Excuse me sir, I was just passing by and I noticed that large
container of money. May I ask what it's for?" Kevin asked.
"Well, there's a rottwieller out back who needs a tooth pulled,
then an old lady upstairs who needs an orgasm. If you help them
out, you get the money." Kevin decided that even though he was
almost totally broke, it wasn't worth the money, so he left.
A few hours later he returns to the bar, VERY drunk after
spending all of his remaining money on beer. He approaches the
bartender and asks if the money offer was still up. The
bartender says yes and shows him where the rottwieller is then
quickly goes back inside to get out of reach of the angry dog.
For almost an hour the bartender can hear growls and yells and
whimpers and barks. Finally Kevin comes back in with his clothes
all ripped and torn, and his face all covered in blood and mud.
"Alright." Kevin says. "Now where's the old lady who needs her
tooth pulled."
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| Posted by Tristan T. Connolly on 14-Aug-2005 | Elephant and MouseAn elephant was walking through the jungle. He stepped on a
thorn and started to cry. "OW, OW! This hurts! Somebody help
me!" Just then, a little mouse passed by.
"Oh, please, little mouse!" the elephant pleaded. "Please take
this thorn out of my foot! It really hurts!"
"No Way!!" cried the mouse. "I know you! You stepped on my
brother last week!"
"I'm sorry about that! Just, please! Help me! I'll do anything!"
cried the elephant.
"Anything?" replied the mouse skeptically.
"Yes! I promise!" swore the elephant.
"Well, okay!" said the mouse.
So the mouse pulled the thorn out of the elephant's foot,
causing instant relief.
"Thank you little mouse!" said the elephant. "What can I do to
repay you?"
The mouse smiled and said, "Now, you have to let me have my way
with you."
The elephant was horrified. But, he did promise the mouse he'd
do anything, so he reluctantly obliged.
So the mouse climbed on top of the elephant and started fucking
him as fast as his little mouse body could.
Just then, some monkeys were sitting in a tree, watching,
disgusted at this mouse fucking an elephant. So they started
throwing coconuts at the elephant's head.
"Ow!" cried the elephant as the coconuts bashed his tender
skull. "That hurts! Stop it!"
The mouse kept going and said, "Yeah! Take it all, bitch! Take
it all!"
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