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| Posted by Joe J. Shmo on 09-Aug-2005 | Who's This Guy?After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?"
he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?"
he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?"
demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
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| Posted by Vince Carter!!! on 09-Aug-2005 | Happily MarriedThere was this couple that got married recently, and they both were happy about the whole thing.
He was happy about the hole....
She was happy about the thing.....
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| Posted by TMAN on 09-Aug-2005 | eat meOne day there was this lion and zebra messing around. Until the lion's wife started to come towards them. The lion panic and said to the zebra "Quick hurry! pretend like I'm eating you!"
Ha Ha get it eating you
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| Posted by Roper! on 09-Aug-2005 | The Five Stages of S1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen while she's trying to wash the dishes.
3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "F*** you!"
5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.
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| Posted by p.l. on 09-Aug-2005 | Afternoon QuickieJoe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighbourhood activities.
To a young boy, they thought, spying would be a lot of fun and would distract him for an hour or so. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said.
"An ambulance just drove by."
A few moments passed.
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are making whoopie."
Mom and Dad shot up in bed.
"How do you know that?"
the startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied
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| Posted by Tammy L. Merriner on 09-Aug-2005 | I'm Not Saying SI'M NOT SAYING SHE'S EASY, BUT...
She's been on her knees more times than Billy Graham.
She's been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum.
She's done more screwing than Black and Decker.
She's responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood.
She's turned more tricks than Harry Houdini.
She's been boarded more times than Amtrak.
She's been mounted more often than Trigger.
She's been involved with more animals than Marlin Perkins.
She's entertained more troops than Bob Hope.
She's been at more bedsides than Dr. Kildare.
She's been turned more ways than Rubik's Cube.
She's spent more time under men than barstools.
She's seen more traffic than the George Washington Bridge.
She's had more turnovers than the International House of Pancakes.
She's been under more sheets than the Ku Klux Klan.
She's had more marines land on her than on Iwo Jima.
Her body has been declared a national recreation area.
Her diaphragms come with a service contract.
She has an IUD with a beeper.
She uses industrial strength douche.
Her gynecologist entered her in the Grand Canyon look-alike contest.
Her underwear is by Rubbermaid.
Her pantyhose has a pet door.
She was hospitalized for six months when a truck driver mistook her for the Channel Tunnel.
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