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| Posted by Pete Makiha on 09-Aug-2005 | WhorehouseA sailor returns to port after months at sea and heads to the nearest whorehouse.
The madam says she has only one girl available, and she??™ll cost $1,000.
Because he??™s desperate, the sailor agrees and heads up to the room.
When the hooker opens the door, she finds the sailor masturbating furiously.
???What the hell are you doing???? the hooker screams.
???For $1,000, you don??™t think I??™m going to let you have the easy one, do you???? the sailor replies.
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by Brat Girl on 09-Aug-2005 | Panty hoseQ: How many animals can you fit in a pair of panty hose?
Think about it...
A: 10 little piggies,
2 calves,
1 ass,
1 beaver,
an unknown number of hares,
and...
1 fish that no one can find!
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by TAISHA on 09-Aug-2005 | Midgets get hookersTwo midgets split a lottery ticket and end up winning the jackpot.
To celebrate, they get two hookers and adjoining motel rooms.
That night, the first midget sits on the bed, staring at the girl, but he has no idea of what to say or do.
The situation gets worse by the sounds he hears coming from next door: "Unh! Oh! Unh! Oh!
The next morning, the first midget walks dejectedly to breakfast. "Last night was terrible," he admits to his friend. "I didn't know what to say to the hooker."
"You think that's bad." the second one says, "I couldn't even get up on the bed!"
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by Ashley M. Suydam on 09-Aug-2005 | The teacher told usA teenage girl arriving home from school asks her mother, ???Is it true what the teacher told us today?"
???What??™s that???? the mother replied.
???That babies come from the same place that boys put their penises,??? the daughter said.
???Yes it is dear,??? mother said, glad that the subject had finally come up at school.
???But when I have a baby,??? the girl responded, ???Won??™t it knock my teeth out????
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Jimmy T on 09-Aug-2005 | How often?The South Carolina couple planned to get married and went to the doctor for their blood test.
The M.D. then tried to explain to them about sex. The boy just listened with a dumb expression on his face.
So the doctor took his fiancee over to the examination table, had her lie down and then made love to her.
"Now do you understand?" asked the physician.
"Yeah," said the boy. "But how often do I have to bring her in?"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
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| Posted by Izzy w. Glimcher on 09-Aug-2005 | Why dicks suckWhy it sucks being a dick!
10. You've got a hole in your head.
9. Your master strangles you all the time.
8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.
7. You shrink in cold water.
6. You never get a haircut.
5. You always hang around with 2 nuts.
4. Your closest neighbor is an asshole.
3. Your best friend is a pussy.
2. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish.
And the number one reason why it sucks to be a dick:
1. Every time you get excited, you throw up.
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman
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