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| Posted by Erica A. Crossfield on 12-Aug-2005 | Who's Child?James and Beverly Jenkins had been married for twelve years when they mutually agreed to end it and get divorced. After the divorce was granted, that same day, as they stood facing each other for what could be the last time, James asked Beverly if she would mind him asking one last question. "Not at all, go right ahead," she replied.
"Well, their is one thing that has always bother me. We have five kids with brown hair but youngest one, little Jimmy, has blonde hair. So, please tell me, whose kid is Jimmy?"
"I just can't tell you, James. The answer would hurt you too much."
"I'll be fine. Now that we're divorced, finding out whoever Jimmy came from can't hurt me too much."
"Well, if it's that important to you...Jimmy is your child."
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| Posted by heyitsbw on 12-Aug-2005 | Divorce Can WaitA wife was having coffee with a girlfriend of hers when she confided to her, "Our marriage has never been that great, but this year has been the absolute worst between my husband and I.
Harry often yells at me, criticizes me, puts me down, plus he never helps out with anything around the house, and I keep getting the feeling that he's screwing his secretary. I can't eat, I can't sleep...in fact, I've already lost eight pounds this month alone!"
"Well, why don't you dump the bastard?!?" her friend said.
To which the wife replied, "Oh, I plan to do that, but first I want to get my weight down to 115 pounds."
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| Posted by Cersi on 12-Aug-2005 | Responsible HusbandMy ex-husband (or ex-wife) was very responsible.
If anything went wrong, he was usually responsible for it.
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| Posted by Teresa L. Strack on 12-Aug-2005 | Apologetic SpouseMrs. Riley, you say you divorced your husband 6 years ago, but you have a newborn infant and children 1, 2, 3, and 4 years old. How come?
Well, every year, he comes back to apologize.
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| Posted by Zach on 12-Aug-2005 | Off The FieldA woman called in a repairman to fix her television. Just as he finished, the woman heard her husband's key in the lock. "Hurry," she said to the repairman, "you'll have to hide. My husband is insanely jealous."
There was no time to run out the back door, so the repairman hid inside the TV console. The husband came in and plopped down in his favorite chair to watch some football. Inside the TV, the repairman was all squished up and getting hotter and hotter. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He climbed out, marched across the room and out the front door.
The husband looked at the TV set, looked at his wife, looked back at the set again and said, "I didn't see the referee send that guy off the field, did you?"
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| Posted by BRITTANY on 12-Aug-2005 | IncompatibleOnce heard from a girl who just broke up with someone:
My old boyfriend and I weren't compatible. I'm a virgo and he's an asshole!
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