|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Scott Richey on 13-Aug-2005 | Who's the Father?The girl admitted under parental questioning that she was pregnant, but couldn't say who was responsible.
"All right !" bellowed her Mother, "you march yourself to your room, and don't come out until you can give us a definite answer."
Later that night her voice rang down the stairs. "Hey Mom, I think I have an idea now."
"I should hope so !" the Mother responded. "The very idea that any daughter of mine could get pregnant, let alone not know the father."
"Chill Mom." the girl said. "I got it narrowed down to the band or the football team."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lisa V. Bailey on 13-Aug-2005 | Lousy LoverThe morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!"
The husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jonathan D. Oneand on 13-Aug-2005 | Funny ScamAustralian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.
After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check.
However, due to the name of the company, few people will present these checks to their banks.
The name of the company: "The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by JAMIE E. LONGMAN on 13-Aug-2005 | Good NightMelissa came home late from her date. She was tired, so on her way to her bedroom she threw her coat over a dining room chair, threw her purse into the kitchen table, and just threw her clothes all over her bedroom floor without a care.
Next morning at breakfast her mother asked if she had a good time last night.
"Oh yeah" she said, "the best ever"
"I thought so" said mom, "your panties are still stuck to the ceiling"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Gene Geller on 13-Aug-2005 | Bad KneesA woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor questions her, "There must be something you're doing that you haven't told me. Can you think of anything that might be doing this to your knees?"
"Well," she said a little sheepishly, "my husband and I have sex doggy-style on the floor every night."
"That's got to be it," said the doctor. "There are plenty of other positions and ways to have sex, you know."
"Not if you're going to watch TV. there ain't," she replied.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():sex jokes (1888): The Top 16 Reasons Last Night's Date Was a Failure |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Sezza on 13-Aug-2005 | The Top 16 Reasons Last Night's Date Was a Failure16. Two words: Crying Game
15. Putting chopsticks in your nose doesn't go over so well since you hit the big four-oh.
14. You woke up in a tu-tu, a bra and scuba flippers - but where the hell is your hockey mask?
13. Losing that Happy Meal prize to your date in an arm-wrestling contest kind of put a damper on the rest of the evening.
12. You roll over and find a naked Ed Asner next to you.
11. You brought flowers and candy, she brought a lawyer and a restraining order.
10. O.J. Simpson mask definitely not a big hit.
9. Her job as an Elvis impersonator didn't bother you until you discovered the sideburns are real.
8. You didn't feel the earth move, but you learned an awful lot about life insurance.
7. Severe paper cuts from that popcorn-box trick forced you to go to the emergency room alone.
6. Everything was going great until the conversation shifted to rejected names for hurricanes.
5. The only tongue you got was at the deli counter.
4. A generally accepted rule of thumb is that your date should have the same number of digits after the date as before.
3. Your date's position as environmental spokesperson really kept you from enjoying your porpoise sandwich.
2. You were only being honest, Gene Hackman in drag *is* arousing
1. Dinner reservations at House of Beans.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
